


The Curse of Amell

by LadyKleo



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Gen, Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-04
Updated: 2011-10-12
Packaged: 2017-10-20 02:58:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 31,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKleo/pseuds/LadyKleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a story about female warrior Hawke who tries to be a good daughter and sister, and step out of her famous cousin’s shadow, but fails on many occasions. Her sister was infected by the darkspawn taint and sent away from home to become a Grey Warden. Her friends were not very friendly with each other, and the only healer she could trust to cover her back in numerous fights she’d constantly got into was some sort of an abomination. The political situation in the city was grim. And that was only the beginning. Well, you all know the story.</p><p>Even though the events are set during Act 2 and Act 3, and continue post-game, I tried not to describe the well-known facts, but to cover some plot holes (if possible) and to concentrate on Hawke’s personality.</p><p>F!Hawke/Anders, F!Amell/Leliana mentioned, Bethany/Nathaniel implied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I am totally obsessed with the Dragon Age universe now, and it made me want to write a story of my head!canon characters. I'm not sure if it will be interesting to anyone besides me, but I would be glad to hear everyone's opinion on my writing.
> 
> While English is not my first language, I hope my texts are easy to read and not filled with grammar mistakes. Feel free to point at them though.
> 
> From chapter 14 onward the story is beta-ed by [Tersa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alix/pseuds/tersa").
> 
> Thanks for your time!

  


'They were tha-a-at huge! And perfectly round. And looked hot. Not that I dared to touch them, of course...' Anders's face looked way too happy when he was talking to Bethany.

'You're kidding!' the girl giggled.

'My dear lady, I kid you not. Don't forget who she is!' he tried to keep a straight face, but his eyes were smiling.

'What are you two talking about?'

Hawke and Varric have just returned from patrolling the nearby caverns and managed to catch the final part of the mages' conversation, which sounded like something Marian would prefer her sister was not involved into.

'Ah, you're back. Come here, the supper... dinner... whatever... food is ready,' Bethany gave Hawke an innocent smile.

'Anders?' Marian crossed her arms on her chest.

'Fireballs,' he shrugged. 'Created by your own cousin, no less.'

'I see,' Hawke still looked at him with suspicion.

'What?'

'You're sitting too close to my sister!'

That mage was dangerous, Hawke knew it. He was an apostate, a runaway Gray Warden and an abomination on top of that. Of course, he would never agree with the last statement because he believed that the creature that possessed him was a "spirit", not a "demon", but Hawke had seen what he was capable of when he was in rage. The only reason why she kept him close was his undeniable talent in healing. Bethany was learning from him, and Hawke hoped that one day they would be able to get him out of their lives. Until then she watched him closely, just as Fenris suggested. The elf was smarter than he looked.

'So, you knew our cousin,' Marian tried to sound more interested in her relative than she actually was.

'Yes. In fact, we are... were friends. We knew each other since our time in the Circle, and then she asked me to become a Grey Warden and join her in Amaranthine,' Anders smiled.

'Asked you? Just like that?'

'Alright, it was a bit more complicated. I happened to be at the Vigil's Keep when the darkspawns attacked it...'

'Happened to be?'

'I was there with a group of templars who escorted me back to the Circle after another failed attempt to escape. Happy now?'

Hawke nodded. One should know their enemy, and she knew almost nothing about Anders. The Deep Roads were, in her opinion, the best place to talk about the Grey Wardens business.

'Monsters helped me to get rid of the templars, but they wanted to take my life as well, which I could not allow. So, I killed as many of them as possible and was preparing to run away when the Warden-Commander entered the scene. She saw my performance and asked me to help her to clean the Keep from those nasty creatures. Who am I to say "No" to a beautiful girl?'

'She is beautiful?' Bethany asked.

'Yes, she is. Actually, you two have a lot in common with her. You've got her face, and your sister has her "colouring". I mean, she also has this unusual combination of dark eyes and white hair. I thought it had something to do with the misuse of the magic, but she said it was a family trait, and now I see she was right.'

'More like a family curse,' Marian sighed. 'Till the time you learn how to protect yourself.'

'What happened next, Blondie?' Varric interfered.

'Next we fought together until there was no darkspawns left. And when I was going to get back to my usual business, which is running, templars appeared, along with the king, no less. Commander could not allow them to take a fellow mage, but the only way to deal with that was to invoke the Right of Conscription.'

'What is it?'

'The right to recruit anyone to the Order, no matter who they are. Once it was announced, templars lost their power over me. But in return I had actually to join the Wardens.'

'I see...' Marian muttered. 'You became a Warden to hide from templars. That's selfish.'

'Don't say such things. I sincerely wanted to help.'

'Whatever...' Marian took out her sword and started to sharpen it.

'So, what about Cassandra?' Bethany shook her head and gave Anders a sheepish smile.

'Beautiful. Smart. Deadly. In any order. The strongest mage I ever met.' Anders grinned. 'With huge fireballs.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my story I intentionally didn't use the canon dialogue lines to shape Hawke's personality according to my vision of her and the situation, but I'm trying to keep the original meaning behind the words.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

  


'These walls look less ancient than those of... What was the name of that place again, Varric?' Hawke traced stone carvings with her fingers.

'Primeval Thaig,' the dwarf looked around and nodded. 'You're right.'

'I think we're pretty close to the surface,' Anders took a deep breath. 'I can smell it.'

'All I can smell is magma and something rotten,' Hawke yawned.

'Can we have some rest here?' Bethany asked.

'Are you alright?' Marian squeezed her sister's hand in hers. 'You look pale.'

'I'm fine, just tired. Honestly,' the girl replied with a faint smile.

'Sure, we can stop, if you wish.'

The men did not complain. The younger Hawke was one of those people who easily gets into others' heart without actually doing anything. She was nice with everyone, always ready to help, or, at least, to listen. So at those rare occasions when she asked for something people did whatever she wanted. That time was not an exception. The cavern was neither better nor worse than any other, after all. They did not light a fire because there was enough of light and heat from a nearby lava river. Bethany fell asleep fairly soon, and Varric followed her example, asking to wake him up in a couple of hours. Anders stretched himself out on the ground, staring at the ceiling.

Marian took her sword out and started to polish it. There was nothing more calming in the world than taking care of her weapon. It was not the best sword one can get, but still a good one. The metal was strong, and the weight was very well balanced. It even had a small rune, a gift from Worthy, attached to its handle. And it was sharp, so sharp, that it could easily cut a darkspawn into small pieces.

'Something's wrong...' Anders murmured, dragging Hawke back to reality.

'Eh?'

'With Bethany,' he sat up and moved closer to Marian. 'She's been too quiet recently.'

'We just need to get her out of this place. It was a stupid idea to bring her here.'

'I hope you are right...'

'Can't you just do some magic to find out what's going on?'

'I'm afraid it's not how magic works,' he smiled.

'I know, alright?' Marian sighed. 'And now I really worry about her. Thanks for a nice chat, Anders.'

'Why do you hate me that much, Hawke?'

'I don't hate you. I just don't trust you as much as I would want to.'

'And yet you brought me here with you.'

'Did I have better candidates?' she shrugged. 'You were the only one with a Deep Roads experience.'

'Right. And I hate it. I hate these bloody tunnels filled with ugly creatures...'

'Oh, come on. It's not that bad here.'

'It is...' Anders lied back and yawned. 'Should I stay awake till it's Varric's turn to watch?'

'Sleep if you want to. I'll be perfectly fine sitting here alone. In silence.'

Damn Anders... Now, when he mentioned it, Hawke started to remember all those times when her sister asked them to go more slowly or to take some bits of loot from her bag. She even asked Anders to carry her staff once, which was weird (and annoying because she asked the mage instead of Marian). But Bethany said she was fine, and, being a healer-in-training, she should have known better. Damn Anders and his paranoiac ideas...

When they moved further, Bethany seemed to be lively and cheerful, and Marian brushed away her fears. Her sister needed some fresh air, that was all. Unfortunately, it was not true. By the time they got to the familiar tunnels Bethany became too weak to walk by herself. What's more, that time Anders was able to tell the cause of the girl's condition. It was the darkspawn corruption.

'No, it can't be! There should be some other explanation!' Marian shouted at the healer.

'I'm sorry, Hawke, but I wouldn't say such horrible things without being absolutely sure,' Anders pressed his palm to his face and closed his eyes, thinking.

'He's right, sister. I can feel it... I'm dying, just like Aveline's husband,' Bethany whispered.

'No, sweetheart, there should be some cure,' Hawke hugged her sister and turned to Anders. 'There is a cure, right?'

'There is a way to save her life, but I wouldn't call it a cure,' the mage said after a long pause.

'What is it?'

'If Bethany joins the Grey Wardens, she'd have a chance to survive.'

'The Wardens? Is this the best you can think of?'

'It is the only thing I can think of.'

It was difficult not to start crying, but Marian managed to look more or less calm. She did not like Anders's idea, but there was no other option. He said he knew where to find some of his former comrades, and she was ready to do anything to save her sister's life.

The Wardens they met did not look like Hawke imagined them. Of course, her vision of them was based on small bits of Anders's stories about the days he spent with her cousin and her "merry bunch of strange people", but no matter how sceptical she was about those tales, the Wardens they met looked boringly similar to each other. They were all human male in heavy armour and had faces so serious, that it made her sad. She had nothing against well-armoured people, of course, but their similarity made Hawke uncomfortable. After a long negotiation their leader, Stroud, agreed to give Bethany a chance to join the Order. In return she had to dedicate herself to the Wardens wholeheartedly. Provided that she survived the initiation. After some hesitation Bethany agreed to do that. Her life was depending on it, after all.

* * *

It was a true pleasure to finally get out of the stone prison of the Deep Roads and to see the sun. They did it, they finished their expedition. But at what price?

'She had to be here...' Hawke said, looking at the sky.

'Bethany is a strong girl,' Anders put his hand on her shoulder. 'She is a mage, and she is Amell. She'll be fine.'

'And you know a lot of Amell mages who are the Wardens to say so,' Marian shook off his hand.

'I know one, that's enough,' he smiled. 'But I never heard of a mage who would die during the Joining. I guess we have some sort of immunity that helps us.'

'Oh, you're all so special!' Marian's voice was shaking. 'If she was not a mage, I would leave her at home with Mother, and we would avoid all this mess!'

'We would not be able to avoid all this mess, Hawke,' Varric interrupted. 'Besides, it could be any of us. It just happened to be Bethany. So, take a deep breath and calm down.'

'How can I calm down when my little sister was taken away from me to become a member of a military organisation? Even if she survives now, she will constantly endanger herself by following the Wardens!'

'And her life here would be better? With all the templars and bandits we keep bumping into?' Varric shook his head, but it seemed Hawke was not listening to him.

'It's all my fault! And yours! And his!'

Hawke tried to punch Anders, but he caught her hand and pulled her towards himself, immobilising her by a tight embrace. Pressed to his chest, she started to cry. She never let anyone to see her tears, but at that moment she did not care. Another sibling was taken from her by the bloody darkspawns, and if Carver was an idiot who ran into an ogre by his own will, Bethany's got infected because of Marian. She hid her face in the feathers of the mage's coat and cried, cried, cried... Both men remained silent. They knew she needed it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another bit of Kirkwall life of Marian Hawke and her friends. We're getting close to the actual story. :)

  


'Umm... Anders?' Hawke entered the Lowtown clinic and found the mage sitting at his improvised desk and reading some papers.

'Hawke?' he looked at her, surprised. 'Hello...'

'Hello to you too,' she smiled, entertained by his reaction.

'What are you doing here? I thought you'd leave me be after we split our Deep Roads finds.'

'Well, I was going to, but you see, I need a healer.'

'But you don't look ill or injured. Or is it under your clothes?' he grinned. 'Let me see...'

'In your dreams!' Marian chuckled and shook her head. 'I don't need your help right now. I'm planning a small expedition to the wilds, and your magic might be useful.'

'Oh. I see,' Anders nodded. 'Does it mean you trust me now?'

'As long as the templars are not involved, I do trust you,' she shrugged. 'As long as you don't let that... guy inside your head take control, you're fine.'

'Believe me, I'm trying, but...'

'Stop. Don't make me regret that I came here. Just, be ready for a stroll,' Hawke turned around on her heels and went towards the door.

'So, you allow me to see you in my dreams then?' he smirked.

'Oh, shut up, you pervert!'

She opened the door to her cellar which was conveniently located next to the clinic and got inside. Her new house was standing right above the mage's place, and it saved her from a long trip along the most unpleasant part of the city. She did not mention it to Anders though. Was he nervous about her walking there alone? Probably not. Why would he? For the sake of seeing her in his dreams mostly undamaged? Perverted abomination...

* * *

The Hawke Estate was huge in comparison with Gamlen's place and even with the farm house the family left in Lothering. It was not fully furnished yet and required an investment of time and money, but even without fancy furniture it looked impressive. Marian and her mother tried hard to think of the future and not of the past and all the losses it brought. When sadness won over their attempts to be happy, and when Marian wanted to decorate the walls in Fenris's style by throwing bottles into them, they opened Bethany's letter and read it aloud. Their little girl survived the Joining, though she did not say what exactly it was, and was quickly accepted by the fellow Wardens for her skills and kind attitude. She could not be with her family, but at least she was alive and seemed to be excited about the new opportunities she had got from the Order. There obviously were things she did not like, but she preferred not to talk about them. Her sweet words calmed Marian and Leandra more than anything else.

Since childhood Marian was always on the run, first hiding her father and her little sister from the templars, then running from the darkspawn, then fighting with poverty and trying to earn a normal life for her family, so the quiet, calm moments had always been rare and treasured. Now it was all over. Bethany was relatively safe among the Wardens, and the treasures Marian brought from the Deep Roads were enough to forget about any financial problems. But as soon as they settled down Marian began to die of boredom. It was the main reason why she agreed to accompany Isabela in her attempt to find that lost relic. She said she had a lead, and she had a strong feeling they would succeed. Marian was not that sure, but she was ready to do anything to spend some time outside.

* * *

'So, how many have you convinced?' Isabela asked while she and Hawke were sharing a bottle of brandy in her room in the Hanged Man.

'Two. I think. Varric agreed without questions, and I'm not completely sure about Anders. I told him to be ready for a stroll, he nodded,' Marian gulped her drink.

'Wow!' Isabela smirked. 'When I asked him, he said he has too much to do in his clinic.'

'I guess he was distracted when we were talking. That's why I'm saying I'm not sure if he was joining us.'

'I bet he was distracted!' Isabela laughed.

'Isabela!'

'What?'

'We were discussing your "expedition", weren't we?'

'Of course! I was talking about this new sword of yours. It may distract anyone,' the pirate was still giggling. 'What were you thinking about?'

'Nothing... Fenris said he is unavailable till the end of the month. Some mercenary job, I guess. Merrill caught some infection and should stay at home.'

'Poor kitten... I'll visit her tomorrow...' Isabela sighed.

'She refuses to go to a healer, and her own abilities in it are... umm... non-existent.'

'I know... We can't wait, unfortunately...'

'I didn't go to Aveline, just as you asked.'

'Good...' Isabela stretched her arms. 'So, it's four of us. It should be fun.'

'It'd better be,' Hawke smiled.

The "expedition" turned into something Varric later called "a perfectly wasted time". It included rowing a boat (because Isabela did not want any strangers to know where they were going, and any normal vessel would require a crew), scrambling through foresty mountainside (because no notorious pirate would hide their booty in an easily accessible location) and exploring a huge labyrinth-like cave infested with giant spiders and other nasty creatures (because the are an inherent part of any cave in Free Marches). It took a week to get to "the big red cross on the map", and when they finally opened the chest, there was nothing but some junk. But, no matter how disappointed they were, and no matter how many curse words Hawke remembered, no one seemed to regret that they let Isabela drag them into that misadventure. And next time when Isabela got another "lead" everyone agreed to tag along. What else free time exists for if not for wasting it perfectly?


	4. Chapter 4

  


Marian rarely watched Anders healing, and even then it was usually a brief glance at his "patient", not at him, as it was always during a battle, and she preferred to close her eyes when he tended her own wounds. So when one day she came to his clinic to offer him another job while he was working on some little boy's broken leg, the sight was new to her. He did not notice her entering the room, so she sat in a corner and watched. His hands moved slowly and carefully as he corrected the bone placement, and then glowing aura covered the leg, healing it and removing pain. Anders talked to the boy in a quiet voice, and it was definitely something funny, as the child smiled, then laughed. The mage smiled as well. Finally the job was done, and the boy ran to his mother, who was waiting for him at the entrance. She tried to give Anders some money, but he refused to take it.

'Why don't you accept payments?' Marian asked.

'Hawke?' Anders turned to her, surprised. 'When did you get here?'

'Some time ago. So?'

'Ah, payment? If they would pay me, they'd have to starve for a week or more,' he sat next to her. 'I can't do it to them.'

'Then I guess you'll like what I'm going to tell you. We've got a client, and I want you to go with me.'

Hawke started her own mercenary business soon after her mansion restoration was finished. She told everyone it was to cover the cost of her Hightown living, but in fact she did it to give her friends a regular source of income. Also she thought it was a good way to keep her skills in a good form. Meeran was furious at first, but Hawke convinced him that they were working on different levels. After a long discussion they agreed to cooperate.

'What's the job?' Anders asked.

'Nothing too fanciful this time. Securing some cargo,' Marian shrugged.

'Do I need to do any special preparations?'

'No, I guess you don't... Actually, I wanted to tell you one more thing.'

'Oh?' Anders put his hand on Hawke's shoulder and smirked. 'You can tell me anything.'

'Our new client, he's just returned from Ferelden, so obviously I asked him how the life is there. And he told me an interesting thing about my dear cousin...'

'What was it?' the mage stopped smiling.

'There is a rumour that she is a maleficar. Or even an abomination in a human form.'

'Ungrateful bastards!' Anders sighed and covered his face with his palms. 'They've already forgotten what she did to save their useless lives. All they see is a mage who is not locked away in the Circle tower.'

'Wait, there is another thing. They also say that she is the King's lover and the true power behind the throne,' Hawke added.

'What? Idiots! She's not even interested in men!'

'Really? So, you were not lovers?'

'Lovers? Cassandra and I?' Anders laughed. 'Of course not! She was a good friend, almost a sister to me. Or, since we spent a lot of time discussing pretty girls over a good drink, a brother.'

'I see... Sorry...' Marian smiled.

'No apology needed, my lady,' Anders bowed to her. 'You made me angry, and then you made me laugh. So it's fine.'

'I didn't plan any of these...'

'I bet you didn't...'

'Well, that's all. I'll be waiting for you tomorrow at nine at the Docks. And now I should go.'

Marian rushed to the door under Anders's confused stare. What was she thinking about talking to him like that? It obviously sounded as if she was a little too curious about his relationship with the Warden-Commander. And it was definitely not the case. All she wanted was to share some rumours about someone he knew.

* * *

Her training session with Fenris was particularly harsh that day. Normally they would use those ugly Tevinter statues left in his mansion by its previous owner to master the strikes, but that time Hawke asked the elf to spar with her. At first he did not use his lyrium augmentations, but after half an hour of circling around each other and rare charges Marian asked Fenris to use his full strength against her. He did as she said, and soon she was sitting on the steps of the stair, breathing hard, and cursing the Tevinter magic.

'You don't use half of your sword's potential,' Fenris said, bringing a glass of water for Hawke and a bottle of wine for himself.

'How so?' she ignored the water and grabbed his bottle.

'What do you do when you attack?'

'I strike. Mostly. Or swing my sword. And dodge when it's needed.'

'You didn't mention one very important thing,' he sighed. 'First of all, you should concentrate. Seek for your opponent's weak points and openings. Think, what technique would fit every particular situation.'

'But that would take a lot of time,' she gulped more wine.

'It doesn't,' he sat next to her and took the bottle from her hand. 'Also, I noticed that you only use the blade while attacking. Sometimes it's quicker to hit your enemy with the pommel instead. Even the crossguard can be used in some cases.'

'I know. I just never could catch a right movement.'

'I'll show you...'

Fenris's movements were fast, even though he was only using his own strength. Every step was in a right direction, it almost looked like a dance, not a fencing practice. He hit, slashed and stabbed a statue of some Tevinter god until it turned into a pile of wooden chips, then looked at Hawke and smiled.

'Was it clear, or should I repeat?'

'I think I got it,' she smiled back. 'Did you turn the sword while it was still inside the statue?'

'I did. But I wouldn't recommend trying it on wooden objects. Use live targets instead.'

'I'll try it next time we get into a fight...'

'Tomorrow then?' he grinned. 'I'll be watching you, Hawke.'

'Why wait till tomorrow? We can go to the Lowtown tonight...' she laughed.

'I like the way you think!' he finished the wine in one gulp. 'But seriously, you need some rest. And so do I. Go home, Hawke.'

'See you tomorrow at nine!'

Marian left Fenris's mansion, smiling. He was a good friend, trustworthy and intelligent, despite his past. They loved sharing stories about their lives before coming to Kirkwall. Or at least she loved to talk and he did not mind listening to her. The only thing that bothered Hawke was his hatred towards mages. She could understand the fact that he was horribly abused by Tevinter magisters, but it was not the magic that made them what they are, it was a cultural phenomena developed in the Imperium during hundreds of years. Mages in other countries, if taught properly, were not too dangerous and definitely not that evil. They were just people with skills, unavailable to others. Marian knew it well since she spent most of her life in a company of at least two mages. The biggest problem was that for most mages the only place where they could get a proper training was the Circle of Magi. Hawke sincerely believed that mages who grew up in the Circle, with some exceptions, could not exist in the outside world because they had no idea how it works. Besides, it was a good choice not to anger the Templars. So every time Marian was asked for her opinion on this matter, she always said that mages should be contained in the Circle, for their own good. And it seemed that her companions always got it all wrong, because Anders would get furious, and Fenris would support her saying his usual "mages are vile and dangerous" monologue. But she did not care much. She was sure she was right.


	5. Chapter 5

  


Hawke was sitting in her study and writing a letter to Bethany. The younger sister seemed to be fine, or at least she said so. She accompanied some older Wardens in their travels between Ferelden and Free Marches, but never got close enough to Kirkwall to visit her family. Sometimes Marian thought that Bethany was angry at her for something because her letters were mostly addressed to their mother, but nothing like that was stated openly. So Hawke kept writing, describing everything that happened to her in smallest details, sharing every thought.

The process was interrupted by Bodahn's polite cough. Marian looked at him and nodded.

'Did you want something, Bodahn?' she asked.

'There is your friend, Merrill, waiting for you. Should I invite her here, or would you like to go and meet her yourself?'

'Send her here, please. And bring us something to drink. I bet she spent hours wandering around the Hightown before coming here.'

'Sure, Mistress.'

Merrill entered the room slowly and started to look around as if Hawke's study was something special. Marian waved her from the desk and nodded at the empty chair standing next to her. The elf sat at the edge and smiled with the corners of her lips.

'Hawke, I'm sorry for the intrusion. I didn't mean to bother you, and I was not invited...'

'Relax. I'm glad to see you here,' Hawke smiled. 'Are you alright?'

'Yes, I'm fine. I just... Was thinking of something. Something Isabela mentioned yesterday.'

'Uh... What was that?' Hawke already could imagine a lot of things the pirate could have said to the poor girl.

'Well, we were playing cards. And talking about... different things. And she mentioned "booty call". And when I asked her what it was, she laughed and told me to think well of it. But I still don't get it. Is it some pirate term?'

'No, Merrill...' Hawke sighed and cursed silently.

'But... But it's about booty... Or... Is it something dirty then!' Merrill almost jumped in her chair.

'It is...'

'What does it mean? Next time I talk to Isabela, I'll sound more mature than ever!'

'I wouldn't call it "more mature", to be honest.'

'Haaaawke...'

'Well, it means "casual sex". You know, when you sleep with someone who only attracts you physically.'

'Oh, I see!' Merrill nodded. 'It's what Isabela does from time to time!'

'Yeah...'

'Have you... I mean... Oh, I'm sorry, it is a personal thing... I shouldn't ask...'

'Don't worry, it's fine,' Marian smiled. 'I don't make a secret of my private life. Or I should say, of my past.'

'Wow! So you did some dirty things?'

Marian took two glasses of rose wine from Bodahn and waited until he had left the room, and then continued.

'I was a soldier in the King's army. It was in Ostagar. And there was one guy, a mage sent from the Tower to assist us in the fight. He was cute and very friendly, and you may say we just "clicked" immediately. We knew that we could die on the next day, so we decided not to wait.'

'Was he your first man?' Merrill looked at Marian with huge eyes.

'No, I had a boyfriend before, when I was younger. And we were close. So I was not a virgin at that night. Neither was he. It was awkward, to be honest. There were people everywhere, and it was difficult to find a place to do what were planing. Then eventually we found an empty tent. It was not the best sex in my life, but I guess it helped us to stay sane.'

'Where is he now?'

'He died. He was killed in the battle along with the King and many others. We, my brother Carver and I, were among few survivors. Aveline was there as well, but I don't remember seeing her,' Marian did not notice when tears came to her eyes.

'Oh... I'm so sorry...' Merrill grabbed her hand.

'It's alright... We'll drink this wine, and then we'll take some more from the cellar and go to Aveline. And get drunk. And let those who left us go...'

'Then I...' Merrill said quietly. 'I will try to let Tamlen and Mahariel go...'

'It would be for the better...'  


* * *

On the next morning the guardsmen were shocked by the fact that their Captain was absent from her office. But it was Anders who was in even a bigger shock, because he found the said Captain at the door of his clinic, suffering from a horrible hangover and demanding that he must "remove it right now or else". When asked about the events that caused her condition, she mumbled something about being ambushed by two drunk women and being forced into doing things she would prefer to forget. Then Anders swore he would find those women. Knowing about the things Aveline wanted to forget could help him to keep her quiet.


	6. Chapter 6

"Dear Marian,

It's been three years since I joined the Order. Not the best years in my life, I must say, but not the worst either. We celebrated this small anniversary with my friends yesterday, and it was really nice. These guys are amazing!

However, I would like to see more women among the Wardens. Sometimes a girl needs someone to share small things, and it is difficult to find such a friend among men. Of course, I can always write to you, but writing and chatting face to face are two different things. Plus I cannot discuss with you everything. I told Stroud that he should look for some female recruits. And guess what he offered? He asked if I wanted to transfer to Ferelden and to work under Cassandra's command! Stroud says there are several women stationed in the Vigil's Keep, and if I would feel more comfortable in their company, he could arrange that. This idea never came to my mind, though I already met some Ferelden Wardens. One of them was a particularly handsome man, even though a bit older than those I normally like. All in all, I guess I will accept this offer.

I don't have much more to say. Discussing the Order business with outsiders is prohibited, you know... I hope you are fine. Hug everyone for me and tell Mother I love her.

Maker bless you, sister!

Yours,

Bethany."  


* * *

  
'An old man! Did you see that, Mother?' Marian bumped her fist into the desk. 'What is she thinking about?'

'An older man, not an old one,' Leandra laughed.

'You haven't seen those men, Mother! That Stroud... He has a ridiculous mustache!'

'But she was talking about someone you haven't seen as well,' the mother hugged Marian. 'There is nothing wrong if a man is older than a woman. Anders is older than you, and you don't make a tragedy of it.'

'Six years is not a huge difference... Wait! Why are we talking about Anders?' Marian freed herself from the mother's embrace.

'Because you like him, don't you?'

'I don't! I mean, he is alright. And he looks good. Has a noble profession. And he is polite, unlike most of the people I deal with and unlike myself... Is it... Is it that obvious?'

'I am your mother, sweetheart. I see what other people don't.'

'But... I don't think he has any feelings for me. We argue a lot, and he is totally crazy about the mages plight. Sometimes it is all he can talk about!'

'Darling, most of the apostates have this tendency. I know it too well, I was married to one of them for more than twenty years,' Leandra smiled. 'Those were the happiest years of my life.'

'So you're telling me to go after him?' Marian sighed.

'Only if you wish to, sweetheart. He is a good man. I think your father would approve that.'

'Father would approve that because Anders is a mage! They are all so obsessed with their... gift!' Hawke pressed her palms to her face.

'You know it's not true. They are just humans suffering from misunderstanding and oppression. Of course, they support each other! But it's not what defines them.'

'Mother... Why don't you marry him then?'

'I'll think about it...' Leandra smirked and left the room.  


* * *

  
Mother... If she were not that insistent, Marian would never ever admitted, especially aloud, that she liked that mage. Of course, he was handsome and had some good qualities, but it was not enough for any serious feelings, and she was not interested in a fling. Moreover, he was dangerous, and nobody knew that better than Hawke. And that demon of his... Even though it did not appear "in person" any more, his influence was obvious. Anders's political position became more and more radical, and it put him and those who were close to him in danger. But, despite all that, he was a valuable team member, and Marian could not convince herself that he had to be left behind... She helplessly bumped her fist into the wall.

Hawke's thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking on the door, and it seemed she was the only one who had noticed it. They were not waiting for any guests, so Marian prepared to get rid of yet another travelling merchant selling his useless goods. She opened the door and saw Anders, standing in the porch and looking particularly scruffy.

'Um... Hi. Did something happen?' she asked, letting him in.

'No, I was just passing by and remembered that your mother mentioned to me yesterday she'd got a back pain. So I decided to check if she still needs my help,' he smiled.

'You've seen her yesterday?'

'Yes, at the Market. Helped her to carry her bag back here. She still prefers buying food by herself, it seems.'

'She did not mention that...'

'And why would she?' Anders shrugged.

'Yeah, no big deal...' Marian smiled sheepishly. 'I'll look for her. You can wait in the study.'

Brilliant! Just brilliant! It seemed that Mother had decided to play a matchmaker even before Marian mentioned her sort-of-attraction towards Anders. She did have the back pain, she did not lie, but it was not as bad as she tried to convince Anders it was. Hawke watched his glowing hands sliding along Leandra's back without actually touching it. Mother smiled and kept thanking him. When he finished, she asked if he wanted to join them for dinner, since it was time already, and he needed some rest. Marian rolled her eyes, but did not protest. If it was what her mother wanted, she could invite anyone.  


* * *

  
Bodahn and Sandal joined them at the table, as they usually did. Hawke ladies never liked to eat alone. Having Anders among them was not as troubling as Marian imagined. He was surprisingly quiet, and only spoke when someone addressed him.

'Our Bethany is thinking of transferring to Ferelden,' Leandra said. 'I wonder if it is a good choice...'

'The Commander will take good care of her, I'm sure,' Bodahn smiled.

'How well did you know her?' Marian helped herself to a huge piece of meat.

'Well enough, I must say. We watched her while she grew from a young naive girl into the Hero.'

'Really? Tell us more!' Leandra asked.

'We, my boy and I, were on our way to Denerim when darkspawn attacked us. The Wardens, Cassandra and Alistair, saved us,' the dwarf started. 'They kindly allowed us to stay with their group. It was in Lothering. Some other people joined them there, so I assumed we were not a burden.'

'Who were those people from Lothering?'

'You may know Leliana, the bard...'

'Her voice is lovely!' Sandal added.

'Do you mean Sister Leliana?' Leandra asked.

'That's how she introduced herself,' Bodahn nodded. 'But she was not really a sister, you know. She just lived in the cloister because it was convenient.'

'You said "people". Was there someone else?'

'Yes, a qunari warrior. Sten was his name. Or was it a title? You never know with those giants.'

'A qunari! Must be that killer the Revered Mother kept in a cage!'

'I think it was him,' Bodahn nodded again. 'But I can't believe he did what they say he did. He was such an honourable man...'

'Cassandra told me about him,' Anders said. 'She respected him greatly.'

'So, Bodahn, what happened next?' Marian asked.

'We travelled with the Wardens around Ferelden. Visited places we'd never have seen otherwise. It was the most amazing journey in our lives.'

'And what about Cassandra?'

'Oh, of course. I'm sorry for derailing from your question,' the dwarf smiled apologetically. 'When we met her, she was a "properly trained Circle mage", as mistress Wynne called her later. She dreamed of returning to the Tower. A scary place, I must say, but she loved it.'

'She had all the reasons for it,' Anders grinned. 'She was Irving's pet student, after all.'

'Irving?' Marian turned to him, surprised by his less-than-adoring words about her cousin.

'First Enchanter Irving. An old geezer who thought he knew everything. Was right about her though.'

'Yes,' Bodahn continued. 'But the outside world was harsh to her. Not many people wanted to help a mage, especially in provincial villages. I remember how she cried at nights thinking nobody was watching her. But she'd hardened with time, she had to. Kept that heart of gold though. Always helped weak and needy. But lost her faith in those with power.'

'Don't we all?' Leandra sighed.

'That's true,' the dwarf sighed as well. 'She was a good friend and a good leader. Always made right decisions, even if not the most expected ones.'

'She loved enchantment!' Sandal inserted.

'Yes. She even asked my boy to teach her some enchanting techniques. But I doubt that is what you wanted to know. I think Mistress Bethany will be safe with her, as much as it is possible in her position.'

'Yeah... That's nice...' Hawke murmured.

She liked the fact that the Hero of Ferelden was her cousin, it made her proud. But at the same time she constantly compared herself with Cassandra, and it was hard. Marian was a good warrior, famous in Kirkwall, but all her victories were nothing next to killing the Archdemon. She needed something to prove herself. Something that would make her not just a member of a noble family who can wield a sword well but a person people would look up to. Sometimes our wishes come true...


	7. Chapter 7

Marian and Merrill were sitting in a garden and cutting vegetables for a dinner. The elf volunteered to help since she miraculously appeared in front of Hawke's door some time ago while wandering around Hightown.

'Hawke... I think something is wrong with this city...' Merrill muttered.

'Inform the criers,' Marian smiled. 'Something is always wrong here.'

'Why would I... Oh, right, a joke. But I'm not talking about usual wrong things. Or should I say, it's also usual, just it becomes more and more disturbing...'

'What do you mean?' Marian put a knife aside.

'It's difficult to explain... I... I hear voices... In my head. Whispers. I don't understand a word, but I keep hearing them.'

'Oh... That's... Interesting. I don't hear anything.'

'I've been hearing them since I moved here. Most of the time they're quiet, and I can block them easily. But sometimes they are louder. And it disturbs me...'

'Why do you think it's the city's fault?'

'I'm sure you've heard those scary stories about its past. About the slaves being sacrificed to the old gods... The Veil is thin...'

'So you think it has something to do with magic. Why are telling that to me then? I am no mage.'

'I just...' Merrill sighed and lowered her eyes. 'I didn't know who else could listen to me. Your father was a mage, your sister is a mage. I thought you could know something...'

'Well, I don't,' Marian shrugged. 'Have you talked to Anders? He may know something about it.'

'I... No! I don't like talking to him. He would say it's a demon's work. He won't listen to me.'

'Alternatively we could write to the Circle, to Feynriel, for example. His superiors may know what causes those... voices.'

'No! Absolutely not!' Merrill protested, waving her arms. 'Don't you think the templars read mages' correspondence? I... I'd better go to Anders!'

'Then let's go. Now.'  


* * *

  
Merrill had no choice but to follow Hawke. They used the secret passage leading from the estate's cellar to Darktown which surprised the elf a lot.

Anders had just finished healing his last patient and now was sitting on a bench leaning against the wall and drinking something from a clay mug. Marian put her hand on Merrill's shoulder and pushed the girl forward.

'You're here. Good,' Anders nodded towards an empty bench next to him, inviting the women to sit down. 'I was going to visit you later. We need to talk.'

'Actually, we need to talk to you,' Marian ignored the invitation and remained on her feet while Merrill sat down, fidgeting with her glove.

'A favour for a favour, once again?' Anders smiled weakly.

'That depends... Merrill?' Hawke leaned against a pillar.

'I... Alright...' the elf made a deep breath and started talking. 'I constantly hear strange voices in my head. Am I going mad?'

'Quiet whispers in old Tevinter, offering you power and riches?' Anders did not seem to be surprised.

'Do you hear them too? Or do you know someone who does?' Merrill's eyes opened wide.

'Many mages here hear them. It's not something you'd want to discuss aloud. If you hear them it means you are not well protected from demons.'

'I knew you would say that...'

'But it is true. And you know well that once you agree to deal with demons, they would not leave you be. You cannot avoid hearing them, but you can learn how to control your own mind. Otherwise they will drive you insane. Or worse.'

'Will you... teach me?'

'You need to concentrate on something. Something important, something big, something that will close your mind from alien thoughts.'

'Is that why you are so obsessed with the mages freedom?' Marian asked.

'It is not the reason why I fight,' the mage looked at her with a sad smile. 'But it is that important cause that keeps me sane.'

'I would argue about that...' Hawke muttered.

'It is... reasonable,' Merrill said quietly. 'I think I know what I should do now...'

'Good,' Marian clapped her hands and turned to Anders. 'What did you want to tell?'

'I know you won't like it,' he looked away. 'But I have no one else to ask...'

'I don't like it already...' Marian crossed her arms on her chest.

'Have you noticed how many Tranquils are there in the Gallows these days? And don't tell me I'm just sensitive to this matter...'  


* * *

  
'Perfect! Just perfect!'

Marian was standing in the middle of an underground cave and cursed loudly. There were templars' corpses everywhere, mostly burnt by magic. A mage girl, Ella, was sitting in a corner and weeping quietly while Merrill was trying to comfort her.

'What are we going to do now?' Varric asked, searching the bodies.

'No idea...' Hawke kicked the ground. 'Get out of here? Find that abomination before he did something unpredictable again?'

'Calm down, Doll,' the dwarf shook his head. 'Look what I found. It's something about Blondie's Tranquil Solution.'

'Let me see!' Marian grabbed a letter from his hand and began to read. 'So, it was not only in his fantasies. Not what he imagined too though...'

'Yeah... He was mislead. The question is, where did he get this information.'

'Hey!' Hawke turned to Ella. 'What were you doing down here?'

'I... I just wanted to see my mum... I was told that there was a secret passage leading from one of the Gallows' cellars to Kirkwall, and that I could use it. So I did. Soon I realised that I'd been followed, so I ran. Eventually the templars caught me, and if you would not have appeared, they'd drag me back and make me Tranquil.'

'Who told you about that passage?' Marian looked at the girl with suspicion.

'An older mage. He said it was safe. I believed him...' she started to cry again.

'You should go back,' Hawke sighed. 'Pretend you were in your room for the entire time.'

'I... I will... Thank you!' the girl got up and ran towards the Gallows.

'Hawke, I think we should bring these bodies to the cellar she was talking about,' Varric suggested. 'Not all of them, of course. Only a couple, including this Ser Alrik. We could make the templars believe they killed each other in some brawl.'

'That would be hardly believable, but we could do that. Luckily some are untouched by magic.'

'I could... I could burn the others...' Merrill murmured.

It was a difficult task to carry men in heavy armours trough the corridors, but eventually they managed to bring the bodies to the cellar and place them in a more or less realistic composition. A couple of additional swords covered in blood were left to make others believe it was an insider incident, and those who disappeared were to to blame. And that damn Anders avoided all the hard work once again. Hawke was not going to forgive him for that.


	8. Chapter 8

'Are you going to explain what had happened?' Hawke sat on a box next to Anders who sorted his stuff with maniacal determination.

'You've seen it with your own eyes,' the mage replied without looking at her.

'I'm not talking about what I've seen. It is clear that you cannot control Vengeance as well as you imagined. I'm talking about the situation in general.'

'What do you mean?'

'Who told you about Ser Alrik?'

'Does it matter? I almost killed that girl!' Anders sat next to Hawke and closed his eyes.

'It does matter. I think it was a setup. How else would the templars get into the tunnel at exactly the same time as we did?'

'I don't know... But I got the information from a trusted source.'

'Yet they were wrong about everything. Here is your "Tranquil Solution",' she gave him the letter Varric found on Ser Alrik's body.

'The Divine rejected the idea...' Anders read through the letter and looked at Marian in disbelief. 'Meredith rejected the idea. Maybe it's not all that bad...'

'Told you...'

'I should talk to the Grand Cleric...'

'You should...'

'What... What happened to that girl? Ella?' Anders asked quietly.

'She returned to the Circle, obviously. You owe me for cleaning up all that mess, by the way.'

'I... Thank you,' he touched her hand with his fingers, then got up quickly and turned away from her. 'Should I leave? I mean, you all, the city... I'm dangerous. Next time Justice... I may harm someone close to me. I may even harm you.'

'Do you really think I'd let you go?' Marian sighed. 'You are dangerous, and if I am the only one who is able to control your rage as you said, I'd rather have you here, next to me. Even if I'd need to become your shadow...'

'Now, that's an interesting image,' he smiled weakly and looked at her.

'I didn't mean anything...' Hawke shook her head and looked away, realising that she was blushing. 'Shit. Forget what I've just said.'

'Thank you...' he leaned towards a pillar and looked down at her. 'Do I thank you too much today?'

'Yeah. You're turning into Merrill. But I do deserve that.'

'You do... If only...' he stopped in the middle of the sentence and looked away.

'What?'

'Nothing. Did I say anything?'

'You're unbearable!' Hawke got up preparing to live, and then noticed a thick stack of papers on his improvised desk. 'What is this? Are you writing memoirs?'

'No, I just recorded my thoughts on mages plight. It should be structured if I want to convince other people that the situation should be changed.'

'Other people?'

'Yes, and you among them.'

'That's sweet. I'd need a shorter version though,' Marian smiled.

'I'll try...' he smiled back, then took one page and started to read. 'Andraste said that magic should serve a man, not rule over him...'

'Oh, please. Why should you start it from quoting Andraste?' Marian put her hand on his shoulder. 'If you want to convince me in anything, you should give me facts, not this religious nonsense!'

'You are impossible!' Anders put his papers aside and looked into her eyes. 'You do and say things I cannot accept, and then you do me great favours. I'm not sure what I want more, to kiss you or to kill you...'

'Just do something,' she smiled. 'I spent the entire night underneath the Gallows, so if you need more time to decide, I should go home and get to bed...'

'You're playing with fire...' His face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her skin. 'I thought that I left this part of my life behind. But I'm still a man...'

She did not let him finish, pressing her lips to his, then he grabbed her into a tight embrace and kissed her back. They bumped into a wall, but Marian barely noticed that. Then suddenly he stepped back.

'Are you sure you want it?' he asked, holding her hand in his. 'I may hurt you...'

'I may like it,' she smiled.

'I'm not joking,' he sighed. 'Please, go home now...'

'Only if you promise to come to me later...'

'I will,' he nodded. 'But if your door will be closed, I'll know you took my warning at last.'

'Yeah...' Marian murmured and left the clinic.  


* * *

  
All her plans to get a good sleep were destroyed by constant thinking about Anders. He'd almost killed an innocent girl few hours ago because his inner demon thought she was with the templars. The worst part of it was that Hawke suspected that he was right. She did not want to believe in it, but despite being a demon Vengeance only came out when Anders or some other mage was in a real danger. The fact that he was ready to attack Ella was truly confusing, and Marian did not know what to think about it.

After spending half of the day in her bed, unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep, and the other half of the day helping her mother to sort old things they had found in the house but never had time to do anything with them, by the sunset Hawke was grumpier and scruffier than usual. She allowed Leandra to choose an outfit for her and to do her hair for her "not exactly a date", then asked everyone to go out for some time. Mother seemed to be happy when she left for a "social visit" accompanied by Orana, and Bodahn and Sandal promised to stay in their rooms no matter what.

The look of Anders's face when he saw Marian was strange, but in a moment he began smiling, so she came to a conclusion it was only her imagination.

'You're here,' she smiled back. 'I was going to call for a search party.'

'Justice does not approve my obsession with you. He thinks you are a distraction.'

'I hope I am...'

'Direct as always,' he touched her cheek with his fingertips. 'In the Circle love was only a game...'

'You are not in the Circle anymore,' Marian put her hands on his shoulders. 'You don't need to play by its rules.'

'My thoughts exactly...'

It seemed that he did not believe at first that what was happening was real. His kisses were careful and light as if he was afraid to do something wrong. Marian smirked and grabbed his hand pulling him towards the bed. But soon he seemed to overcome the initial uncertainty. And then there was another obstacle.

'What should I do with this thing?' Anders helplessly tried to unlace Hawke's corset.

'How would I know? It's the first time I'm wearing... it!' Marian tried very hard not to burst into laughter.

'Really?' He kept pulling the laces, but without a visible result.

'Have you ever seen me in a dress?'

'No. But you managed to put it on somehow...'

'My Mother did it. She said it would make me look feminine,' Marian sighed.

'You always look feminine. Even in your heavy armour.'

'Sweet. But that doesn't matter. You should just cut it if you can't unlace it.'

'Cut it?'

'Yes, there is a dagger under the pillow...' she waved her hand backwards.

'You sleep with a dagger in your bed?' Anders shook his head, but did as he was told to.

'Is it that strange?' Marian took a deep breath. 'Now I feel better. I could barely breathe in this thing...'

'It's only a beginning,' Anders grinned.

His hands slid along her body, pulling down her dress. She closed her eyes, letting him do what he wanted, and it seemed to be a right decision. His hands were soft, even softer than hers, she thought. Every touch was slow and gentle, as if he was trying to find out what she would like the best. Somehow she knew that he did not want just "a woman", he wanted her and her alone, and he wanted her to feel it. And, Marian had to admit, he was good at it. They had a long night ahead of them, and she knew she would not be disappointed.  


* * *

  
Waking up in the morning in someone's arms was a new experience for Marian. She put her head on Anders's shoulder, and he kissed her on forehead.

'You've got scars...' she traced thin white lines on his chest with her finger.

'You've got them too,' he smiled.

'Yes, but I'm no mage. I thought people like you heal themselves instantly.'

'When there is lyrium in your wound, scars is the last thing you should think about,' his face darkened. 'And these are only scratches anyway.'

'Lyrium? Did the templars do that to you?'

'Yes. It was the first time I fought them openly. And when they think they have a right to kill you, they use methods that are prohibited otherwise. Like lyrium-based poison coating for their swords. Nasty thing.'

'Sounds... unpleasant,' Marian murmured.

'It is. But let's not talk about it now,' he planted a kiss on her nose.

'Sure...' she smiled.

'By the way, there is something I wanted to ask you. I was thinking of moving out of my clinic. For safety reasons. Do you think it is possible for me to move in here?'

'I don't know... I should ask Mother...' Marian grinned. 'What do you want for a breakfast? I could make you a sandwich.'

Anders shook his head and hugged her.

'I love you...'


	9. Chapter 9

'You surprised me, and I thought it was impossible,' Anders said, applying medicine to Hawke's wounded arm.

'You thought I was a monster who kills innocents?' Marian rolled her eyes.

'No, but you'd sent the boy to the Circle few years ago. I thought you'd want to keep him there.'

'We discussed that million times already,' she sighed. 'I thought they'd be able to help him, but that did not happen. Dalish would not do better, as we can see now. So Tevinters are his only hope. I'd never make anyone tranquil by my own hands, let alone killing someone only for being a mage.'

'Glad to hear that,' he kissed her on a cheek. 'But Tevinter... I'm not sure. If we believe Fenris, it's full of blood mages.'

'Oh? That's something unexpected,' Hawke smiled. 'Do you believe him now?'

'I'm not sure,' he smiled back. 'Blood magic is the only thing we tend to agree on. So I would probably believe in that.'

'We'll see... By the way, do you know what Justice told me in the Fade?'

'I... I'm not sure,' Anders looked away. 'My memory of the event is very blurred, and it frightens me. What did he say?'

'He thinks Ella was controlled. By blood magic. He thinks someone wanted us and Ser Alrik to confront each other. To get rid of either, or both.'

'Yes... A familiar thought I tried to brush away. But he seems to believe in it...'

Hawke sighed. She would prefer to believe in Justice's theory as well. He seemed so reasonable while they were in the Fade saving Feynriel from his own demons. And he was the only one who stood at her side till the very end. Actually, she was severely disappointed in half of her companions. She could not blame Aveline for being at work when everything happened or Varric for being a dwarf since it is a well-known fact that dwarves cannot enter the Fade. She could not blame Merrill either since it was Hawke's decision not to take a blood mage along. Sebastian was her first choice because she needed someone incorruptible to cover her back, but he refused to follow saying that it was not a place for a man of faith. Marian was furious. How could he do that to her? He, who used her to do his dirty job when they first met, who did not mind helping her with her mercenary contracts that were not always legal, who always ran to her when he needed something to be done, now remembered that he was a "brother" and refused to to something good for a change. Such a coward! Even Anders and Fenris, who both were not thrilled by the idea of going into the Fade, agreed with Hawke's opinion, a rare case when three of them did not argue. Only Isabela seemed to be extremely excited about the "adventure". And then, she was the first one to betray Hawke, selling her friends to a demon for a boat. A boat! Then Fenris agreed to confront her after being offered an unlimited power. Marian would sort of understand him in any other situation, but fighting the elf was totally exhausting. If Anders, or better to say Justice, was not there, her current condition would be much worse. Hawke had no doubt in her fighting abilities, but she also knew Fenris and knew he was one of those opponents who could, in theory, kill her. But Justice was there, calm, supportive, intelligent, completely opposite to his demonic side, Vengeance. He answered Hawke's questions and helped her to defeat the demon asking nothing in return. It was absolutely unexpected, but very nice, especially comparing to what the others did. Isabela apologised, of course, trying to turn everything into a joke. Fenris was so angry at himself that Hawke almost felt sorry for him. And Sebastian pretended that nothing had happened which infuriated Marian more than anything. Selfish brat...

'He is alright,' Marian murmured. 'Justice, I mean'

'Oh?' Anders's face looked puzzled.

'I mean... When he is himself. Not that twisted creature... I think I understand why you offered him your help.'

'Thanks,' Anders finally finished healing her arm and hugged her.

'But I still think what you actually did was stupid,' she squeezed his hand in hers. 'I can't get rid of a feeling that he is always here, with us. Watching. Judging. That's creepy.'

'I'm sorry...'

'We'll find a way to separate you two... Who knows, maybe he will be himself again once your anger is no longer a part of him.'

'Yes... I... I thought about it.'  


* * *

  
Anders and Sandal were sitting on a floor in the study and looking at a staff lying in front of them. The mage had many staves, and in most cases they were made in a form of a spear with a blade in a bottom part. But this one was practically shouting "Magic!" It was made from a bright blue stone and weathered yellowish metal and had a huge glowing crystal on the top. Walking around with this thing would definitely attract unwanted attention.

'Isn't it too flashy?' Marian asked, entering the room.

'You may say so,' Anders touched the crystal, bringing tiny lightnings from inside to its surface. 'Think of it as a collector's item. It's unique, one of its kind.'

'Or the merchant who sold it to you said so,' Hawke sat next to the men.

'No, I know it is true. Right, Sandal?'

'Enchantment!'

'Exactly. Look at the runes. These...' Anders pointed at the engraved metal. 'These were made at the same time as the staff itself. They make it into what it is. These...' he pointed at standard runes. 'They were installed later by an enchanter. Not as talented as Sandal though. I think we will have to replace one of them.'

'Enchantment!' Sandal clapped his hands.

'And here is the most interesting part,' the mage continued. 'These runes were carved directly into the stone the staff is made of by its former owner.'

'How do you know that?'

'It's not an enchanter's work, it's mage's. A bit amateurish, but still quite good. Made with love if not with a skill,' he smiled.

'But you're not going to carry it around, I hope?' Marian asked.

'No, of course not. It's too valuable for that.'

'I'd say too noticeable and girly.'

'That as well,' the mage shrugged.

Anders and Sandal went down to the cellar to conduct some tests on the staff. Living with a mage in the Hightown was much more difficult than in the Lowtown, Hawke thought. With all those huge windows and curious neighbours one had to be extremely careful not to do anything suspicious. Even Sandal's experiments attracted too much of unwanted attention, and Anders's presence made everything more complicated. Well, she was ready for that. Harbouring apostates was a family hobby, after all.

Marian looked down and noticed a piece of paper, folded several times and crumpled, lying on the floor. It seemed that either Anders or Sandal had dropped it. She unfolded the paper which turned to be a letter. The handwriting was almost calligraphic, a bit too fanciful for Hawke's taste.

 __

 _"Anders,_

 _I hope this message will find you sooner or later, taking in consideration the manner of the delivery._

 _I wanted to let you know that you should not worry about being tracked any more. Some replacements had been made. N. proved his usefulness after all._

 _I am torn between Denerim and the Keep. These are not the easiest times here. Ser P. is currently in the Keep, he is fine. If only we could meet and talk, I do not trust the paper._

 _I wish you well, my friend. Maker watch over you._

 _To Justice:_

 _Do not forget the reason why you are there, spirit._

 _C."_

That was dry and almost official. Cassandra, and it was obvious that the letter was from her, seemed to be quite a straightforward person. Marian liked it. She folded the letter and put in onto the desk. She was going to ask Anders about it later.


	10. Chapter 10

  


  


 

The city was burning. Everything that she cherished disappeared in that fire. Anders was standing before her, pain in his eyes. She was holding a knife in her hand.

‘Do it,’ he whispered.

She pressed the knife to his stomach and pushed as hard as possible. A fountain of blood burst from the wound covering her hands and face with a hot sticky liquid. He fell down on his knees and then on the ground. With the next move she cut her own wrist and slowly sat down next to Anders’s body.

‘Hawke, no!’

Fenris. Do you really care? Marian turned to her friends and smiled.

‘Go, do what you must. My journey ends here.’

* * *

‘Marian! Marian! Wake up! What’s wrong, love?’

 

Hawke slowly opened her eyes and saw Anders. He was obviously worried, shaking her and almost shouting at her.

‘A bad dream,’ she murmured, hugging him and burying her face into his shoulder. ‘A true nightmare.’

‘Everything is fine now. I’m with you,’ he stroked her hair.

‘Did I say anything?’

‘You screamed as if you were in a great pain. Scared me to death...’

‘I’m sorry...’

‘Don’t be sorry, love,’ he planted a kiss on her temple.

She nodded. Her eyes were full of tears, and no matter how hard she tried not to think about the dream she could not erase the vision of Anders’s dead face from her mind. It was something that she did not want to ever see again. At that moment, being in his arms, she swore to herself that what she saw in the nightmare would never happen in real life. She would never do that to Anders even if the fate of the world would depend on it, because the world without him was not worth saving. They could disagree on many things, but she knew that she would do anything for him, and he would do the same for her.

* * *

‘He was alright... for a templar,’ Anders muttered while they were on their way home. ‘It’s a pity that he died that way.’

‘True,’ Hawke nodded. ‘I hope someone will go there and collect his body.’

‘What should we do now? Find that Gascard?’

‘First thing tomorrow, I think. Now we should think of how we’re going to explain to Mother why we skipped the dinner. I don’t want her to know the truth.’

‘You helped me in the clinic?’

‘That does not explain why I’m covered in blood...’

‘True...’

The explanation was not needed as instead of Leandra they found Gamlen who impatiently tried to converse with Sandal. Seeing Hawke he sighed in relief.

‘Where is your mother? Is she alright? She is here, isn’t she?’

* * *

It was not right, Marian thought looking at all that remained of her Mother. Why had that creature spoken with Leandra’s voice about things only Leandra would have known? It was a shell animated by blood magic, how could it move after the death of that monster, Quentin? She was sitting on the floor of the foundry and staring at the body that belonged to many women. Her mind refused to accept that it was her Mother.

‘Hawke... I found this blanket... We should cover her...’ Merrill whispered.

‘Give it to me...’ Anders took the blanket from the girl’s hands and wrapped the body into it.

‘Burn it...’ Marian said quietly.

‘What?’

‘She wouldn’t want anyone to see her like that. Just... Burn this entire building...’

‘But Hawke, it can destroy the whole district,’ Fenris tried to reason her.

‘I don’t care!’

‘Let’s go, love...’ Anders lifted the body. ‘I’ve seen a bed in one of the rooms we passed. We’ll leave her there, and then burn this blasted building...’

‘You...’ Fenris wanted to say something, but Merrill touched his arm, and he stopped.

Remembering the nightmare she had seen on the previous night Hawke still hoped she would wake up and see her Mother alive. Looking at the fire consuming the foundry she vigorously pinched her own hand only to convince herself again and again it was not a dream. Being in such a deep shock she could not even cry. Merrill cried for her.

 

* * *

Hawke was sitting on a bed and looking at the fireplace. There were five of them only few years ago, a real family, loving parents and their three children. They had their secrets, their life was not easy, but they were there for each other. Now both parents and Carver were gone, her beloved little sister was far away, and the only family she had got was Uncle Gamlen whom she never loved and never respected.

‘I know it won’t help... But at least you knew her that long...’ Anders entered the room and sat next to her.

‘I guess I have the be grateful for that...’ Marian murmured.

‘What about your family?’

‘I barely remember them,’ he sighed. ‘Are you sure you want to talk about me now?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, my parents were neither rich nor poor. I believe my father was a craftsman. We lived in Hossberg until... Until I was taken to the Circle.’

‘How old were you then?’

‘Eleven. I was trying to protect a cat from other kids. I honestly wanted to punch them, or kick, or whatever. But somehow I set them on fire instead. Few days later templars came for me. They had to clap me into iron and drag me forcefully as I refused to follow them. My mother promised she’d write to me, but I never got anything from her.’

‘So your love for cats brought you to the Circle?’

‘Those little bastards were throwing stones at the poor creature! I couldn’t just stand there and watch.’

‘That’s not what I wanted to say...’ Marian sighed.

And suddenly tears came to her eyes.

'It was my fault! I had to tell her, to warn her,’ she clutched lapels of his coat. ‘And when it all happened, I wasn’t fast enough!’

‘Don’t blame yourself, love,’ he cupped her face with his hands and touched her forehead with his. ‘That monster is the only one to blame...’


	11. Chapter 11

‘Where is Hawke?’

Aveline stomped into the waiting room of the Amell Mansion with her usual haste.

‘In her bed. Mourning,’ Anders answered from the top of the stairs.

‘I know it’s a difficult time for her, but I need her to come with me.’

Anders waived his hand towards the bedroom door inviting the Captain to enter. Aveline rushed up the stairs. The room was in a total mess, part of the furniture was broken, the floor was covered with papers and feathers. Marian was lying on the bed and hugging a pillow.

‘Be careful,’ Anders whispered to Aveline, and she nodded.

‘Hello Hawke...’ the Captain started. ‘How about a nice stroll to the Keep?’

‘Go to the Void, Aveline...’ Hawke mumbled.

‘I tried to be nice,’ Avelive sighed. ‘But if you won’t get your lazy ass out of the bed and come with me, I’ll get very very angry. Viscount Dumar requires your presence.’

‘You can take Viscount Dumar to the Void with you!’

‘She’s not mourning. She’s drunk!’

‘It’s the only way to keep her from... this,’ Anders pointed at the desk cut into two parts right in the middle. ‘The damned elf brought her a new sword thinking it could make her feel better. She used it to destroy everything around. I even had to stun her before it was too late.’

‘Oh dear... Could you do something? I don’t know, to straighten her mind. I really need her to go with me.’

‘I can remove the drunkenness, but I cannot guaranty her agreement to help.’

‘Just... Do what you can.’

Anders’s hands began to glow as he pressed his fingers to Hawke’s temples. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

‘You shouldn’t have,’ she sighed.

‘Hawke, it’s important,’ Aveline said. ‘Bran will kill me if I get back alone.’

‘What’s going on, Aveline?’

‘To be honest, I’ve got no idea. It was something about you sending away four messengers without listening to them or even taking letters from them.’

‘Oh... Did I do that?’ Hawke turned to Anders.

‘The first one was sent to the Void by you, the other three were dealt with by Bodahn,’ the mage shrugged.

‘Right... I... Remember something about that.’

‘I know it’s hard,’ Aveline put her arm around Hawke’s shoulders. ‘But it’s been three weeks already. There are problems on the city scale, you can’t just sit here and drink.’

‘Can I not?’

‘Absolutely.’

‘Why? I’m nobody. The city can function without me.’

‘Just... Do it for me, Hawke,’ Aveline sighed.

‘For you. Alright. I’ll try to be polite.’

* * *

The Viscount’s request turned out to be personal. His son Seamus decided that he doesn’t want to be an Andrastian and turned to the Qun. He was a grown up man, and it was his decision which Hawke respected, but the Viscount wanted his only child back. Marian was going to refuse helping him, but seeing Aveline’s face changed her mind. She was going to talk to Saemus and listen to his version of the story. The necessity of facing the Qunari and especially the Arishok gave Hawke the chills. She was one of very few people in this city, if not the only one, whom that huge man respected, but at that moment she was not in the best shape. Showing weakness in front of him could be fatal for entire Kirkwall.

‘Why is that always Hawke?’ Marian asked while they went down the Keep stairs.

‘You make a lasting impression,’ Anders smiled with the corners of his lips.

‘No, I’m serious! I was brought up as a farmers’ daughter, then I was a mere soldier, one of many hundreds, then a refugee whom nobody wanted to see. But now everyone expects me to save them from any trouble they get themselves into.’

‘Such a familiar story...’ the mage kept smiling.

‘Let me guess. Cassandra?’

‘Yes. Only her whining started with “My biggest ambition was to become the First Enchanter, not the Hero”. She always was a modest one.’

‘Why would she want to be the First Enchanter?’

‘Well, in Ferelden it’s quite a nice position. Though if I were a Circle person I’d stop at the Senior Enchanter level. Less pressure, more freedom.’

‘Freedom?’

‘Yes. Senior Enchanters are relatively free to do anything they want. There are very few of them however. None in Kirkwall.’

‘I see...’

‘Also most of them are quite old, so they rarely actually use that freedom.’

‘And what does one need to become a Senior Enchanter?’ Aveline asked.

‘First and foremost, they must be loyal to the Circle, be exceptionally gifted in magic and prove their abilities to control their powers. In addition they have to spend many years as teachers or researchers, making a noticeable contribution into the Circle life. And so on, and so forth.’

‘So it’s not your case.’

‘Surely not.’

The dialogue with the Arishok went surprisingly well. He was annoyed by everything as usual, but after what had happened with the delegates three months before Hawke expected him to be more enraged. But he was almost polite and calm, probably because Mother Petrice, the one person both Hawke and the Arishok despised, was suspected in doing something sinister, so they had the same goal.

Hawke and her companions got into the Chantry too late. The Viscount’s son was murdered right in the apse from which the Grand Cleric usually gave her sermons. The next moment they were attacked by the “righteous” mob provoked by Petrice. What Hawke wanted to do the most was to kill that viper, but she vanished right at the beginning of the fight only to bring the Grand Cleric with her when it was over. Elthina was calm as always, too calm, in Marian’s opinion, and even the appearance of a qunari archer and Petrice’s subsequent death did not make her drop her facade. Hawke expected her to at least say some prayers for Seamus or that blasted Mother, but neither she nor Sebastian who accompanied Hawke did anything. Was it a Chantry custom not to pray for those who converted, Marian had no idea. And she did not want to know. Her own soul was still torn apart by her Mother’s death, and looking at the Viscount crying over his son’s body made her feel the pain once again. She left the Chantry with tears in her eyes.

* * *

‘How many people have died in the Chantry?’

Hawke was sitting in the kitchen with Anders and Aveline and drinking whiskey right from a bottle.

‘I thought you’ve stopped counting those you kill some time ago,’ Aveline sighed.

‘I don’t mean today, I mean in whole. We were dragged into big fights in Chantry three times, and I bet we are not the only ones.’

‘Now that you mentioned it,’ Aveline turned from Hawke to Anders. ‘Why did you arrange that meeting with Karl in the Chantry?’

‘I... I don’t know... It was his proposal. I was wanting to get him out so desperately that I didn’t think of it,’ Anders looked puzzled. ‘But it is a good question indeed.’

‘It could be entirely orchestrated by the templars,’ Hawke murmured. ‘And they thought the Chantry is a convenient place since it’s closed and they know it well.’

‘Could be,’ the mage nodded and took the bottle from Hawke’s hand. ‘And today’s events were not too surprising. Though it doesn’t cancel its idiocy.’

‘Yes,’ Aveline nodded. ‘However Isabela’s case is still unexplained.’

‘I wonder if they ever lock the doors,’ Marian took her whiskey back. ‘Or do they think that the Maker will keep those golden statues from thieves?’

‘Most likely it would be Andraste,’ the captain smiled. ‘Those are her statues after all.’

Anders looked at two women in front of him and shook his head. Neither of them believed in what the Chantry said. He knew that Marian believed in the Maker, but her faith had nothing to do with the religion. He had no idea what Aveline believed in. Nobody knew that for sure. She was too realistic for that. What he could not understand was why, if they did not care about the Chant, did not they see that his cause was so important.


	12. Chapter 12

The Qunari attacked. Hawke knew it was inevitable but hoped the Arishok would reconsider. After all Kirkwall had its templar army and the city guard while he was only accompanied by a crew of one ship. No doubt the ship was huge, and those on board were all soldiers, but it was not enough for a real war. However, sometimes Hawke thought that it was not true. There were way too many Tal-Vashoth at the outskirts of the city, and there was no way they all had arrived together. Were they even Tal-Vashoth, Hawke wondered. You can never say by just looking at them. And now it became absolutely clear that had planned the invasion for some time already.

Hawke and Aveline barely escaped from the Compound. Aveline's guards were not so lucky which obviously turned her into a berserk. She wanted to go right to the Viscount Keep to gather her remaining guards, but Marian persuaded her to go through the slums first. She said it was to be sure that people are safe, but her true reason was to check on Gamlen. Right in front of his door there was a a battle, and Marian's heart almost jumped out of her chest because the uniform of the fighting people was painfully familiar. Without giving it a second thought she rushed forward cutting her way with wide swings of her sword. She would have found out later that at that moment Anders was solely concentrated on her safety since she did not think about it. All she could think about was to get to Bethany if she was among the Wardens or at least to get any information about her if she was not there. There was no news from her since Leandra's death, and Marian could not stop worrying even being in such a grave situation herself.

'Thank you for your help,' it was Stroud. 'Fighting the qunari was the last thing we expected.'

'We did not expect it either,' Marian bowed to him lightly.

'And yet you are here, right in the middle.'

Hawke slowly turned her head. It was Bethany. She looked exhausted, but at least she was not injured.

'You know, it's just what I am,' Marian smiled weakly. 'I'm glad you kept a distance.'

'I didn't. I just had to step back when Derek was wounded to help him. I'm the only healer here. Was,' she nodded to Anders, and he smiled back.

'I thought you were in Ferelden by now.'

'I have some... unfinished business here. Can't say more.'

'We should move on,' Stroud touched Bethany's arm.

'Yes, that's right,' she nodded.

'Wait, Bethany, I should tell you about Mother...' Marian grabbed her sister's hand.

'Don't,' Bethany gently freed her hand. 'I know already.'

'But...'

'May the Maker watch over you, sister...'

The Wardens left. Hawke could not believe that her first meeting with her sister after all those years was that rushed and... emotionless. Bethany's voice was cold and almost irritated as if she was not happy to see Marian. She did not even look back. Was she still angry because she had to become a Warden? But she would die otherwise. What if she was blaming Marian for their mother's death?

'Let's go, Hawke!' Aveline called.

'What had I done to her?' Marian still was looking at the street corner where her sister had vanished.

'Nothing,' Anders put his hand on her shoulder. 'I bet it's Stroud's influence. We'll discuss it later, if you wish. Come on. We should go.'

'Yes,' she exhaled and drew her sword noticing qunari soldiers running towards them.  


* * *

There were bodies everywhere, humans, elves, dwarves, mostly common citizens, sometimes guardsmen. But what enraged Hawke even more was the fact that quite a big number of elves turned against their own people and sided with the invaders. They were small and weak, but there was nothing by hatred in their eyes. At first Marian tried to just knock them down, but then the rage that was boiling inside of her took over...

'Blasted knife-ears,' Hawke spat blood angrily. 'Sorry, Fenris.'

'No need for an apology,' the elf sighed and passed her an injury kit. 'That's what they are.'

'And where are those bloody templars?' Marian gulped an entire bottle of potion. 'They are the biggest army in the city. Have you seen them? I haven't!'

'Guarding the Chantry, I suppose,' Anders suggested.

'Most likely,' Aveline agreed with him.

Their next fight happened at the Hightown market, and it was there where thy saw the templars for the first time on that day. And that was the Knight-Commander herself, a tall blond woman in heavy armour with a simple claymore in her hands. Her voice was soft, but under that softness there were metal undertones. No wonder both mages and templars were afraid of her. Seeing Hawke's group capability she offered to join forces, then left to gather her Order. Marian glanced at Anders. He clutched his staff that luckily happened to be the most spear-looking in his collection.

'I hope nobody will break into my home,' Hawke said partially because she really was concerned and partially to distract Anders.

'Sandal is there,' the mage smiled. 'And your dog. And I bet I've seen Isabela teaching Orana some self-defense movements.'

'That's exactly what I'm afraid of.'

'Move, move!' Aveline pushed them up the stairs. Fenris shook his head.

The next wave of qunari found them at the square in front of the Viscount Keep. Obviously they were not the first ones who fought there since the ground was covered with bodies. Mages! What were mages doing there, Hawke thought beheading another enemy. They were supposed to stay in the Gallows behind the closed doors. Nobody ever taught Kirkwall mages how to fight, so it was their only chance to survive. There were no templars with them, which was also strange. Hawke looked at mages' faces and every time sighed in relief because there was nobody she knew. She felt responsible for those who had got into the Circle because of her. Suddenly one of the mages moved. That made Hawke fight even more ferociously.

Marian knew she never met that mage, but for some reason he looked very familiar. It was a grey-haired elf in a simple dark robe. His richly decorated staff suggested that he had a high position in the Circle hierarchy, and the fact that he survived suggested a huge magical talent. Or just luck. Turned out he was the most important mage in the Circle, the First Enchanter Orsino. Anders always said that Orsino did not care much about the Circle, but looking at him running from one mage to another, hoping that at least someone would be alive, Marian realised that he was wrong. The First Enchanter cared about his people. But it seemed he had no power to help them. And it was absolutely clear why...

'First Enchanter, you survived...'

* * *

It was too bright, Hawke thought. Had Anders forgotten to draw the curtains again? She tried to move, but then a stroke of unbearable pain pierced her entire body.

'Stay still,' Anders whispered into her ear. 'I'll block the pain.'

'Thanks,' she articulated soundlessly.

'Do you remember what happened?'

 _Now_ she remembered though the memories were blurred. They got into the Keep and fought more qunari. Then they had spoken to the Arishok. Then Isabela returned with the relic. She dueled the Arishok for Isabela's life and killed him. Meredith named her the Champion of Kirkwall. She smiled proudly. Then she went toward the door... and fainted.

'Yes,' she whispered, then slowly opened her eyes.

'Then tell me, was it the blood magic?' the look of his face suggested he was not joking.

'No, of course not. I am no mage.'

'What was it then?'

'Have you heard of the Reavers? That is what I am.'

'You never told me...'

'There was no need. I never used this _talent_ since I left the army. It's a huge gamble.'

'Why have you learned it in the first place?' Anders lied on the bed next to her.

'When my father died the twins were still children. I had to protect them and Mother. And there was that man, a knight, who agreed to teach me. Just in case.'

'That's noble.'

'It saved my and Carver's lives in Ostagar. And then he...'

'I'm sorry...'

'I'm fine... I... think there are some broken ribs left. Could you check the left side?'

Anders's hand slided along Marian's body. She loved when he touched her even if it was strictly for healing purposes. She closed her eyes and tried to think of her new title. The Champion of Kirkwall. But for some reason all she could think about was her stupid little brother.


	13. Chapter 13

_"Dear Marian,_

 _I heard the news about you defeating the Arishok and being named the Champion. I am very proud of you. Our family is made of heroes, is it not?_

 _I have just arrived to Amaranthine. It is a small town, but I find it quite interesting. Finally it is a place where nobody cares about my uniform or my staff. I do not know if it is an acceptance or a mere toleration, but it is refreshing anyway. I am tired of frightened stares._

 _I am leaving for the Vigil's Keep with a caravan in a couple of days, so I will be there by the time you get this letter. I hope I will be able to prove myself useful._

 _Maker bless you,_

 _Bethany."_  


* * *

  
Hawke finished reading the letter aloud, then put it aside and sighed.

'Why is she doing that to me? It looks like a report, not like a letter to a sister.'

'She's trying to be a proper Warden,' Anders smiled. 'Don't worry, Cassandra will beat this out of her head soon.'

'A proper Warden?'

'The Order suggests all the members to avoid any relationships with outsiders, family included. Of course not all the Wardens follow these rules, some keep their marriage or even get married after their joining, others make friends in all the towns they pass through or keep in touch with their relatives, but many do support the separation. They believe that to be a truly neutral force the Wardens have to be detached from the world. Following this rule varies from branch to branch. Stroud is quite conservative in this matter and many others.'

'What other matters do you mean?'

'Well, you've seen his men. Those big guys in heavy plates are what he believes true Wardens should be. One or two mages in a group are fine as long as they can keep his precious warriors alive. No offence.'

'None taken,' Hawke grabbed a bottle of wine Fenris left on the desk for her few days earlier. 'Is it different in Ferelden?'

'Totally. You may say the Ferelden branch is a completely new organisation. Cassandra believes that having family and friends gives strength. And she accept people from various backgrounds as long as they prove their determination and capability to fight. In fact, when I joined the Order there was only one warrior stationed in the Vigil's Keep, and he was a dwarf.'

'That was years ago. Things change. People change.'

'Basic principles don't. Though you are right about... things.'

'Had something happened that made you leave Ferelden? You never told me.'

'Yes. But I don't want to talk about it.'

'Was Cassandra involved?'

'No. Not directly... Marian, please...'

Anders closed his eyes and started to rub his temples with his fingers. Hawke stepped back in silence as she knew this posture too well. Somehow her question triggered Justice's anger, and now Anders was fighting with him for the control over the body. It looked like Anders was quite successful as not a single glowing crack opened on his skin. In few moments he fell to his knees and dropped his hands. Marian exhaled in relief.

'Sorry, love,' he whispered. 'It's just... A truly horrible memory.'

'It clearly is,' she shook her head.

'He won't let me tell you. Maybe later...'

'As you say,' she sighed and left the study.

What was he hiding, Hawke wondered. It doubtfully was a fight with templars no matter how big because that was not something he would refuse to talk about. And he said Cassandra was not involved. Judging by her letter Hawke found some time ago she still counted him among her friends and cared about his safety after several years apart. Even his cat seemed to be alright. What else could it be? Marian had no idea.  


* * *

  
Marian was standing in front of the mirror and looking at her reflection. She was wearing a bright purple dress with golden embroidery and a tight corset. Her hair was neatly combed, and her makeup was more visible than usually. Anders was watching her leaning against the door jamb.

'You look pretty,' he smiled.

'Pretty?' she touched her hair, then corrected the corset. 'I look stupid. I can't wear such things in public. I'll step on the hem and fall down.'

'You won't. Everything will be fine.'

'And why aren't you wearing that garment I bought?'

'I'm not sure if I should go with you,' he looked away.

'You should,' she approached him and put her arms around his waist. 'Otherwise I'll need to ask Sebastian to accompany me. Or Fenris.'

'If you put it this way...' he planted a kiss on her forehead. 'I'm coming. But promise me we won't stay there for long.'

'I promise.'  


* * *

Comte De Monceaux sincerely believed that he was one of the most influential people in Kirkwall. He was rich, had one of the biggest mansions in the Hightown and considered himself a friend of the late Viscount Dumar (Maker bless his soul) among other things. So when the official period of mourning had ended he suggested that now the noble citizens should have celebrated the Champion's victory over the qunari and offered his home as a place for the party. His neighbours supported the idea, especially since they did not have to pay anything for it. The Champion was kindly informed about the forthcoming event three days prior the date. There were rumours that five messengers were sent away before the invitation actually got on Mistress Hawke's desk, but nobody could confirm or disprove them.

The Champion was a strange person. Nobody would dare to judge her as a woman since she was as far from an average Hightown lady as the moon was from the sun. But they could not resist discussing her. She had enough of power and money to rule the city, but she was not interested in politics. She was not interested in serious business either. Nobody actually knew much about her. She lived in a mansion with only three servants. Weird people visited her frequently, and the Captain of the Guard was the most decent of them. Some neighbours claimed that a tall blond man was actually living with her while others said she favoured the Starkhaven prince but had to hide her feelings since he preferred a life of a Chantry brother. Though the last rumour was debunked when Mistress Hawke appeared at the party hand in hand with the aforementioned blonde. They definitely looked like a couple, so many nobles were utterly disappointed because their plans for marrying their sons to her had been ruined.

However, there was one person that made the Champion look almost normal. It was Knight-Commander of the Templar Order, Meredith. It seemed she had no personal life at all, only her duty. Nobody had ever seen her wearing anything but her shiny plates. The Comte was astonished by her appearance at the party, but it turned out that she wanted to discuss the restoration of the Viscount Keep with him, and since she was in the area she decided to pay him a visit. It took a lot of effort to persuade her to stay a little longer than she planned. Messere De Monceaux supposed that it could grant him even more influence in the city. But it seemed only the Champion was not intimidated by her presence. Leaving her companion to talk with Prince Sebastian, she grabbed two glasses of wine and went towards Meredith.

'Knight-Commander! What a surprise!' Hawke offered one glass to Meredith.

'A surprise indeed,' the older woman accepted the wine, but put in onto a windowsill a moment later.

'Do you enjoy this party?'

'I did not come here to celebrate. But I like to see so many happy faces. It is... refreshing.'

'You could relax sometimes as well,' Hawke smiled.

'I have no time for that,' Meredith paused, then continued. 'I believe you know that the man you are here with is an apostate.'

'He is not. He is a Grey Warden. And before that he was a Circle mage.'

'He's got a proper training then.'

'Of course!'

'Good. But what does the Warden do here in Kirkwall?'

'Nothing you would be interested in, Knight-Commander,' Marian tried to look as innocent as possible.

'Watch him closely, Champion. Mages cannot be trusted.'

'You don't have to tell me how to deal with mages. My father was one of them. As well as my sister.'

'Your sister?' Meredith's eyes narrowed.

'She is a Grey Warden as well, serving in Ferelden.'

'It seems you have many connections with their Order.'

'It seems I do.'

'The Chantry accepts donations for rebuilding of the damaged orphanage building,' Meredith said after a minute of silence.

'I'll keep it in mind,' Marian nodded.

When the Knight-Commander and soon after her the Champion left the party everyone sighed in relief.


	14. Chapter 14

Hawke was on her way back home from the market when she saw a crowd of people gathered at the steps of what people still called the Viscount Keep. There was no viscount in Kirkwall since the qunari crisis, and it seemed that the Knight-Commander preferred it that way. Marian never could understand who gave that woman the right to rule over anything but her subordinates, but she herself had no urge to interfere while other nobles were scared to death of the templar army to actually say anything. The silent support of the Chantry and the Grand Cleric practically made Meredith (and everyone else) believe she was above anyone. The only person who tried to oppose her was the First Enchanter who unfortunately had no power to change anything. Looked like this time he was trying to bring his arguments to the people of Hightown, and Meredith was there to stop him. Marian tried to sneak quietly behind the crowd into her mansion, but Orsino stopped her, trying to get someone who was not afraid to talk to the Knight-Commander on his side. Hawke did not want to get involved, but since they were shouting right under her windows she decided that stepping in could at least remove them from her doorsteps more quickly. Unsurprisingly, neither of them wanted to hear reason. Meredith even mentioned Leandra's death as an example of what mages do. Anyone who knew Hawke well knew this would never end peacefully. She almost killed Fenris two years earlier for the same "offence" challenging him to a duel. She would challenge Meredith as well, but the Grand Cleric intervened. It was a rare case when she actually decided to act, but even then she just told the Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter off as if they were children caught in the middle of the night fighting over a jar of jam. They left for the Gallows, but Marian seriously doubted it would change the situation. Meredith was not a person who would forget a public humiliation.  


* * *

  
Hawke entered her house cursing templars and mages under her breath when she heard quiet voices from the study. She decided to listen at the door.

'Don't come close to the window!' Anders sounded anxious. 'The templars are still there.'

'So what?' Merrill was careless as always. 'They saw me coming in.'

'Are you _that_ stupid?'

'Are you that _naive_? They know you live here. And they know I'm Hawke's friend. So they are aware that we know each other. It won't change anything if they see us together.'

Marian smiled. Merrill had changed a lot during the last few years; now she was more mature.

'Doesn't matter,' Anders sighed. 'What did you want to talk about?'

'Whispers. I cannot block them anymore. I thought if I could concentrate my thoughts on the restoration of the Eluvian, they would eventually go away. But it's getting worse.'

'You restore it using blood magic! Obviously it wouldn't work that way.'

'But what else can I do? Helping my people is the most important thing in my life.'

'There are other ways to do it!'

'I tried! I tried everything, but the mirror doesn't work, and I have no idea what I should do next,' she almost cried. 'And... I've had visions!'

'Visions?'

'Yes. I see Tamlen and Lyna. Not clearly, not all the time... I know they are not real, but... It's really frightening.'

'Alright,' Anders said after a long pause. 'There is one thing I can do for you.'

'Really?'

'Take this.'

'What is it? Lyrium? So much? Can I have it all?'

'Yes. Take as much as you need. Do whatever you want. Just don't touch your wrists anymore.'

'I... Thank you...'

'Now go, before I change my mind.'

'Sure... I... Hawke!'

Marian entered the room slowly. Merrill looked like a kitten caught eating cream while Anders just shook his head.

'Hello Merrill. You can leave if you want to.'

The elf nodded and moved hastily towards the door pressing a leather bag to her chest.

'So, you keep lyrium in my study,' Marian leaned against the wall and looked at Anders.

'No, normally I keep it in the cellar,' the mage smiled with the corners of his lips. 'I just had no time to move it there.'

'Where did you get it?'

'Different places. Orzammar, Kal'Hirol. It's not hard to obtain if you have right contacts.'

'And you have them.'

'Of course. It's more difficult now when the Mage Underground was practically destroyed by the templars, but some of my old friends are still... in business.'

'Isn't raw lyrium dangerous?'

'It is, if you don't know how to store it,' he shrugged. 'When used carefully it is mostly harmless.'

'I hope you know what you're doing...'

'I do...'

He touched her cheek with his fingers, and she noticed he was wearing a new ring. It was thin and made completely of blue gemstone.

'I've never seen this ring before,' Marian muttered.

'I thought I'd lost it, but it appeared among my things yesterday. So I decided to put it on.'

'Is it valuable?'

'No. Just a memento of the past.'

'Oh? Is there a story behind it?' Marian raised an eyebrow.

'Not really. We found in in Kal'Hirol during our first trip there.'

'What is Kal'Hirol?'

'An old dwarven city abandoned many decades ago.'

'But you said you get lyrium from there.'

'I do. Mining does not require many people, you know. Only a few who agree to keep quiet about what they do in exchange for gold,' Anders shrugged.

'Yeah, right...' Marian sighed. 'By the way, are those your manifestos piling on my desk?'

'Yes, I...' he looked away.

'You promised...'

'I know. I'll take them to the clinic today.'

'You've been writing them for more than three years already. And nothing has changed. Don't you think it's time to stop?'

'No.'

There were flashes of blue light in Anders's eyes when he grabbed his papers and stomped out of the room. Hawke bumped her fist into the desk angrily then fell into a chair. With every passing day, Justice's presence became stronger and stronger, and she feared that her ability to control him would eventually fade away. It seemed that the spirit tolerated her, because despite all their confrontations, she supported mages and kept Anders free of the templars. But it was only a matter of time that one day he would turn against her if she kept her neutral position. Marian closed her eyes and pressed her palms to her face. He needed help, but she had no idea what to do. Maybe it was time to consult with the First Enchanter.


	15. Chapter 15

'Master Anders is in his clinic,' Bodahn said seeing Hawke entering the house.

'I didn't ask,' she pretended to be uninterested.

'Oh, I was talking to myself,' he shrugged with a little smile.

'Don't mind me then,' she smiled back and started to sort papers on her "public" desk.

'I think he hasn't eaten anything since he left four days ago. His patients have said he almost fainted twice.'

'Will he ever learn to take care of himself?' Marian muttered under her breath.

'No idea, Messere. He seems to be very sorry about whatever happened between you two...'

'Good.'

Hawke took two letters from the desk and went upstairs to the bedroom. Anders did not return home after their short conversation about his manifestos. She was still angry at him, but with time her anger turned from Anders to Justice. The mage did some research on separation of two beings captured in one body, but it ended up in nothing. Either Anders didn't have enough sources, or the demon did not let him get the answer, Marian did not know. What she knew was that if she wanted something to happen she needed to act herself. Earlier that day she had gone to the Gallows to discuss the situation with the First Enchanter. Orsino was very surprised by her "theoretical interest" in such a strange topic, but he promised her that he would check the books in the Circle library for any information on the matter.  


* * *

  
Hawke found Anders in the back room of his clinic resting after the healing of some wounded man. Seeing her, he jumped to his feet.

'I was wrong,' they said simultaneously.

'You first,' Marian looked at him cautiously.

'You were right. About me writing and not doing anything. And about Justice. Becoming his host was clearly a mistake, I see it now.'

'Good. Are you going to do anything about it?' Hawke sat on a bench and gestured him to do the same.

'Yes... Actually, I was reading some Tevinter books these past few days. Ones I didn't check before. And I found a recipe for a potion that may separate me and Justice without killing any of us.'

'Is it just a potion? Is there a ritual?'

'No, no ritual. But I need some ingredients which are not easy to get...'

Sela Petrae and Drakestone, mix them and boom... That sounded painfully familiar, Hawke thought while they were on their way back home. Anders was very apologetic and agreed with everything she said to him. She let him think she didn't suspect anything and hoped he would not do anything truly harmful. She made no mention of her conversation with the First Enchanter because she wanted to get the information Orsino could possibly find first. But she did mention her encounter with the Knight-Commander and a subsequent request to look for three runaway mages, who, in Meredith's opinion, were extremely dangerous maleficarum. They exchanged understanding glances. During the past few months the situation with mages in Kirkwall had deteriorated, and even Anders agreed that in many cases Meredith's paranoia was not baseless.  


* * *

  
'You have a message from the King, Messere,' Bodahn brought a fancy-looking envelope to Hawke's study.

'What King?'

'King Alistair, of course. Haven't you heard about his visit to Kirkwall?'

'No,' Marian shook her head. 'Let me see... He invites me to the Viscount Keep. That's nice.'

'Do you need anything from me?'

'No, thank you,' she smiled.  


* * *

  
Stories described King Alistair as a fierce warrior and a fearless leader. In reality he turned out to be an approachable man with a kind smile and a good sense of humour. Nobody was surprised when he recognised Anders as a Grey Warden since he was a part of the Order himself, but the fact that he knew Isabela was unexpected. It seemed that even the pirate herself was caught unawares because they had only met once many years ago. Although another thing caught Hawke's attention much more. It seemed that the tension between the templars and the mages in Ferelden escalated during the last few of years, especially after the King's failed attempt to free the Circle from the Chantry control. The mages that lived outside the Tower had the royal support, and that enraged the templars. The situation in Kirkwall did not make things better.

'Am I imagining things, or did His Majesty sound uncertain when he talked about the Hero returning to Denerim?' Hawke asked some Ferelden noble from the King's entourage when he and his advisor left the main hall.

'He just can't be sure,' the man shrugged. 'She was going to accompany him in this voyage, but she had not appeared in the capital by the time we departed. Naturally His Majesty has doubts.'

'I heard she was born here, in Kirkwall,' his companion said. 'Probably she didn't want to see her family. Considering what... who she is.'

'She is the Hero,' Marian said slowly trying to hide her growing anger.

'Of course she is,' the woman nodded. 'But they wouldn't have sent her so far away without a good reason.'

'I believe she is aware that the only family she's got here are her uncle and her cousin who are both proud to be her relatives.'

'Oh. How interesting,' the woman smiled and grabbed her companion's arm, dragging him towards the exit. 'We should go. Have a nice day, Champion!'

'Gamlen would be surprised,' Anders said putting his hand on Hawke's shoulder.

'I bet I'm right. He just doesn't talk much about any of his nieces,' she turned to him. 'But what they said is disturbing, don't you think?'

'They will always see her only as a free-roaming mage.'

'No, I mean her disappearance.'

'I think she's fine,' the mage smiled. 'Nothing bad could have happened to someone who slays dragons and annihilates entire darkspawn lairs.'

'I hope you're right. And I hope Bethany isn't with her.'  


* * *

  
The creature was huge, probably as big as Flemeth in her dragon form, but not sapient. Hawke and her friends had fought dragons before but none of that size. This one looked particularly vicious and undoubtedly hungry. For the first time in her life, Marian wanted to run away from the battle because she was scared. She quickly glanced at her companions. Merrill clutched her staff so hard her knuckles became white, but the fear in her eyes was mixed with blood thirst. Varric was unfolding Bianca with a smug smile on his lips. Anders chanted a spell entering his healing trance. They all knew their places in the arena. Hawke sighed and stepped forward. Without Aveline, it was her role to take the first blow.

The battle was exhausting. Many times, Hawke thought she was going to die, but every time, a warm wave of healing magic brought back her strength and let her fight further. It seemed that Anders did not attack at all but concentrated all his power on keeping the others safe. Merrill in particular needed his support as she was casting her strongest spells that required sacrificing her own health. Varric was the luckiest one because the only things he had to care about were not getting in the beast's way and having enough of bolts. Where he was hiding all those bolts was a mystery to everyone, and the dwarf was good at keeping secrets.

In the end, the creature was slain and that was overwhelmingly satisfying. Only looking over the field and seeing numerous corpses of dragonlings and drakes did Hawke realise what a gamble it had been, but it had definitely been worth trying. There were treasures piled at the far side of the dragon lair, and now they belonged to Marian and her friends.

'My goodness, how many shiny things!' Merrill exclaimed, running from one pile to another.

'Dragons are like magpies, only bigger,' Varric laughed.

'Oh, look at this!' Marian grabbed a piece of armour. 'Isn't it great?'

'If you say so, Doll,' the dwarf looked confused. 'It looks like a piece of metal you can find at any armourer's stall.'

'It's silverite! And it's really well made!'

'Is it? Well, if the fact that its former owner was eaten by a dragon doesn't bother you...'

'Varric! It's unfair!' Hawke pressed her find to her chest.

'Forget what I said,' he smiled. 'It will be known in centuries hence as the Warplate of the Champion.'

'Sounds good.'

'And doesn't that resin thing Blondie's hiding behind the rock look like something Fenris mentioned several days ago?' Varric grinned.

'What?' Anders gave his companions an innocent smile. 'I thought it was trash and put it out of sight.'

Hawke shook her head and sighed. Sometimes she started to believe that she could have a happy life full of sunshine and laughter. But it was nothing but an illusion. One couldn't think of happiness when there was drakestone in their backpack.


	16. Chapter 16

'Hawke, it's important!' Sebastian caught Marian at her doorstep and had been following her around for a while.

'If it's so important, why are you telling me that now?'

'Because you were out of the city for more than a week!'

'I was... fighting a high dragon. Defending my property at the Bone Pit,' she smiled carelessly trying to brush off any further questions.

'I heard about that. But it doesn't change the fact that Her Grace wants to see you immediately.'

'What's it all about?' Hawke sighed and turned her steps towards the Chantry.

'She wouldn't tell me unless I brought you along.'

'Great...'

Sebastian was alright. Not Hawke's closest friend, not the most interesting person she knew, and way too religious, but he was sincere and easy to read which she liked. That didn't stop her from teasing him every time he asked for her help. She would prefer he grew a backbone and claim his lands instead of wasting his time in the Chantry, but he wouldn't listen to her. His loss.  


* * *

  
The Grand Cleric wanted Sebastian and Hawke to meet with the Divine's agent. Why it had to happen in the middle of the night behind the closed doors of the Viscount's Keep was a complete mystery. Hawke had gotten used to the Chantry's strange ways of doing simple things, but the fact that Sister Nightingale preferred to meet with messengers instead of visiting Elthina in the Cathedral seemed odd to her.

Her face looked vaguely familiar, and when she introduced herself Hawke remembered seeing her many years ago in the Lothering Chantry. The message she wanted to send to the Grand Cleric was disturbing. The Divine had been preparing her army for an Exalted March against Kirkwall, and her agent had to confirm that it was necessary. Luring blood mages into a fight was cheating, in Hawke's opinion. It was clear the decision had already been made, and Leliana's visit was just a formality. What enraged Marian the most was the fact that most of the known maleficarum were not even from Kirkwall. But it seemed that nobody in Orlais cared about such small details.

'How could you leave Cassandra to become the Chantry watch dog?' Anders asked when it seemed the conversation was over.

'I was the Chantry agent long before I met her,' Leliana didn't even look at him. 'There are times when we have to decide what is more important - our duty or our feelings. I've made my choice.'

'She trusted you!'

'I believe she trusted you as well,' she shrugged.

'I never betrayed her.'

'Wait!' Marian interfered. 'You know each other?'

'No,' Leliana sneered. 'But if you know Cassandra you know everything _about_ "the man who opened her eyes and made her see reality in its true colours". Ridiculous!'

She turned on her heel and walked away.

'What was that all about?' Hawke asked while they were going towards the exit.

'I have no idea,' Anders looked confused. 'She never called me that when I was still at Vigil's Keep.'

'And no idea why she _could_ describe you this way?'

'Well, we went through a lot of nasty things together. Some would never have happened to her if I hadn't been around,' he shrugged.

'Let me guess. The templars,' Hawke rolled her eyes.

'Among other things, yes. The group that was responsible for catching apostates. And some more... later,' he looked away.

'What happened?'

'They lured us into a trap. Said that she had to let them take me. I was a Warden already, and we were on an important mission. Obviously, she told them to get lost. They didn't take it well. So, we fought.'

'I figured that much,' Marian sighed.

'Don't we have more urgent things to discuss?' Sebastian asked.

'Like, why the Divine plans an Exalted March against Kirkwall while all the problems here are caused by outsiders?' Anders parried.

'True,' Marian nodded. 'Decimus, Innley, that son of a bitch Quentin and lady Harrimann were all from Starkhaven. Many others were not from here as well.'

'You're right,' the prince agreed. 'But the question is what we should do in this situation.'

'Inform the authorities?' Hawke suggested. 'Begin an evacuation?'

'Do we have any authority aside from the Chantry?' Aveline, who had kept quiet before, sighed. 'Would Meredith go against the Divine's will?'

'What about the Guard?' Anders turned to her.

'We will stand against any aggressor,' the Captain shrugged. 'But what can we do against an army of well-trained soldiers?'

'I hope it won't come to this,' Sebastian said opening the Keep door. It was dawn already.  


* * *

  
The Grand Cleric refused to leave the city no matter how hard Sebastian tried to convince her. The woman had many flaws, Hawke thought, but her dedication to her flock was truly admirable. Her faith in her own safety, though, was disturbing. Even if nobody would be targeting her personally, no one was safe from accidents, especially during a war. But she was as stubborn as most of the other Chantry members Hawke knew and refused to believe in such things.  


* * *

  
Hawke and Anders were strolling towards Lowtown to check on Gamlen when someone called her name. A man who introduced himself as Nuncio insisted that the Champion needed to find an Antivan assassin hiding among the Dalish. It seemed that every single person in the city was sure that without her help they wouldn't be able to solve their problems. Marian was going to refuse, but Anders touched her arm and nodded. Whatever he had in mind, she didn't know, but she nodded back and agreed to look into the matter.

'What's this all about?' she asked as soon as they turned around the corner.

'I may be wrong, then we'll catch a dangerous criminal,' the mage rubbed his nose. 'But if I'm right, and that Antivan elf is who I think he may be, helping him might be beneficial.'

'Oh? An acquaintance of yours?'

'No, someone I'd heard about. A lot. Let's just see if I'm right.'

'Alright. I promised Merrill that I'll take her to Master Ilen's shop anyway, so we can ask about that assassin while we're there.'  


* * *

  
Not only was Anders right, it turned out that Isabela, who volunteered to join them on their trip to Sundermount, also "knew" the elf. His name was Zevran, and he was a close friend of Cassandra. When it became clear that Marian was not going to bring him to Nuncio, the assassin suggested they confront the Crows because they could become a menace otherwise.

'How did you know it was him?' Hawke asked while helping Merrill get through bushes.

'Your cousin loves to talk about those she misses,' Anders answered. 'That cheers her up.'

'Did she ever speak about me?' Isabela giggled.

'You? Why would she?' Marian turned to the pirate.

'I met her once. I've even shown her girlfriend some... moves.'

'I bet we don't want to know the details...'

'No? I was talking about duelling. What were _you_ thinking about?'

'Isabela...'

People are strange creatures, Marian thought. Knowing her reputation, they still tried to attack her, foolishly thinking that bringing more thugs into the fight would make a difference. It'd never worked before, and it didn't work now, especially with Zevran joining Hawke's team. Several times Marian caught herself watching him, and that said much about his skills. The elf moved as fast as Isabela and also used two daggers, but at the same time, his fighting style was less secretive. Though it seemed their similarities were not limited by the way they used their weapons. After the battle, they decided to have some fun right there in the nearby bushes. Merrill was the only one who wasn't bothered by it at all. Living in a caravan, where every sound is heard by everyone, makes a person indifferent to such things.


	17. Chapter 17

From the moment Merrill asked her for help, Hawke was sure that something bad was going to happen. But she couldn't even imagine the horror that happened later. Keeper Marethari, convinced that she was saving Merrill, allowed a pride demon imprisoned in an ancient artifact for hundreds of years to possess her. The only way to stop the demon was to kill the Keeper, and it had to be Merrill. Only Marian's gift of persuasion, or the size of her sword, saved the girl from an immediate execution. Needless to say, she was not welcome in her clan any longer.

'Why did she do that?' the elf whispered, when they finally left the Dalish camp.

'Because she was too weak to oppose the demon?' Anders suggested.

'She wasn't weak... She was...'

'Stubborn. Ignorant,' he shrugged. 'She clearly knew it was a demon, and she believed him.'

'Yes... But...'

'You told us those mirrors were used as a method of communication between cities. So to get to this world from wherever that demon was, he needed another mirror. I doubt he kept one inside of that ugly statue.'

'That sounds plausible,' Hawke nodded. 'Was she deceived into believing she saved Merrill while she actually let the demon out of his prison herself?'

'Most likely,' Anders replied.

'I tried to tell her everything I knew about the Eluvian, but she wouldn't listen to me. She thought it was too dangerous simply to talk about it...' Merrill rubbed her eyes that were still full of tears.

'That's not your fault, Kitten,' Isabela put her arm around the elf's shoulders.

'I... I don't know...' the elf sobbed. 'I only asked for the demon's advice. I never asked for power. Maybe that's why he turned to the Keeper. She would do anything to stop me...'

Merrill burst into tears again, and nobody knew how to calm her down.  


* * *

  
Marian woke up in the middle of the night. Anders was not in bed. She quietly left the bedroom and slowly went down the stair expecting to see him in the study, writing his manifestos. To her surprise, she found him sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace and cleaning the stone staff. She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

'Why aren't you sleeping?' Marian asked.

'I don't know,' Anders touched her forehead with his temple. 'I woke up some time ago and couldn't fall asleep again, so I came here. Sorted my staves, noticed this one was covered in dust, decided to clean it.'

'You never use it.'

'It's too valuable, remember?' he smiled. 'And too flashy.'

'Everyone knows you're a mage anyway,' she murmured.

'Yes... Well, maybe I just need a special occasion for showing it to the masses,' he covered her hands with his. 'Let's go back to bed.'

'Are you sure you're alright?' Hawke asked, standing up.

'Yes... No... I don't know. I'm not sure about anything any more,' Anders sighed. 'But I don't want you to stay awake because of me.'

There should be some way to separate him and Justice, Marian thought while they were going back to the bedroom. And they had to do it as soon as possible, before the demon burned Anders from inside. During the last few weeks, he had changed noticeably: he didn't sleep much and ate only when she insisted. At the same time, he didn't look weak physically, only his eyes showed how tired he was.  


* * *

  
'I need your help, love,' Anders said during breakfast. 'Will you talk to the Grand Cleric for me?'

'What do you want me to talk about?' Hawke asked.

'I don't know... Anything. Just distract her for some time...'

'Distract her?' Marian looked into his eyes. 'What for?'

'I can't tell you,' he looked away. 'It's for your safety.'

'The Chantry is full of people, you know,' she sighed.

'I just want to see something in her office...'

He was a very bad liar. Hawke was sure he was planning to leave something in Elthina's office, and it wasn't his manifesto. But she wanted him to admit it without a pressure from her side.

They saw Sebastian at the Chantry entrance, polite and smiling, as always. An idea of using him popped in Hawke's mind immediately.

'Good morning, my prince,' she said merrily.

'Hawke, please, don't call me that,' Sebastian smiled shyly.

'Would you mind helping us on this lovely day?' she grabbed his arm.

'What are you talking about?' He looked quite uncomfortable.

'Stop it, love, please,' Anders touched Marian's shoulder, giving Sebastian a cold glance. 'We don't need his help.'

'I'm sorry, Hawke,' Sebastian freed his arm. 'But if you want me to help him, I have to refuse.'

He stomped inside without any further explanation. Hawke blinked afew times, then turned to Anders. He shrugged. It seemed those two had had an argument about something again. Marian shook her head. Her cunning plan to send the prince to spy on Anders was ruined.

She spoke to the Grand Cleric about the mages, just as Anders wanted her to. But Elthina's answer was the same as during the Qunari crisis. Officially, she refused to step in, but it was clear she wouldn't go openly against Meredith and her templars. They were nothing but a military wing of the Chantry, after all.

They didn't say a word on their way back to the mansion. Hawke was too angry at herself for failing to find out what Anders was planning, and he seemed to be too deep in his thoughts to talk. But when they finally got home, his mood swung from melancholic to ecstatic. He thanked her for staying at his side despite the difference in their views, for helping him on that day. He even said that Justice bowed to her for what she had done.

'You sound possessed,' she sat into the chair in the study and hid her face in her palms.

'I _am_ possessed!' he almost laughed.

'Should I be happy about that?'

'Weren't you the one who wanted me to stop writing my manifestos and to start doing something instead?' he smiled.

'And what is that you're doing?' she looked into his eyes. 'It isn't a potion that would separate you and Justice, is it?'

'No, it's not a potion. I lied,' he circled around the room. 'But what we've done will help mages throughout Thedas.'

'How?'

'I can't tell you...'

'That's not what I was asking. I'm not an idiot, I guessed what your plan is,' she bluffed.

'Then just stand aside. Don't interfere,' he looked away.

'No!' Hawke stood up 'You dragged me into this. And I'm dragging us both out.'

'I don't need you...'

'What?' she grabbed his shoulder.

'I don't need you!' Justice's voice sounded like a thunder. 'Don't touch me!'

'Begone, spirit! I'm talking to Anders!' she looked into glowing blue eyes, hoping that he wouldn't notice how horrified she was.

'I _am_ Anders!'

'You aren't,' she shook him.

'What... What was I saying?' he looked normal again.

'You were saying in a nice booming voice that you didn't need me,' she fell in the chair.

'Oh, Maker...' he pressed his fingers to his temples. 'He did it again... I've had too many blackouts recently...'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I hoped I'd be able to control him... But he becomes stronger and stronger. What should I do?'

'First of all, calm down,' she stretched her arm toward him, and he squeezed her hand in his. 'Whatever he's planning, we'll stop him.'

'Yes... You're right...'

'There's no need for violence. We'll find the way to change things peacefully.'

'Yes... Thank you, love...'

Anders dropped on his knees next to Hawke's chair and pressed his lips to her fingers. They will find a way out of this mess, she thought. Somehow.

A quiet knock on the door pulled Marian out of her thoughts.

'May I come in?'

'Bethany!' Hawke jumped to her feet and ran towards her sister.

'Bodahn said you were here...' the girl smiled.

'My goodness! How... Why... Let me look at you!'

Bethany hugged Marian, then Anders, whispering something into his ear that made him smile. Then she turned back to Hawke.

'Are you alright? Has anyone tried to harm you?'

'What a strange question!' Marian put her arm around her sister's shoulder. 'Somebody's always trying to kill me.'

'No, I mean something unusual,' Bethany took a deep breath. 'I was attacked by the Carta. They tried to capture me, but the other Wardens intervened.'

'I can't think of anything similar...' Hawke bit her lip.

'I can,' Bodahn said, looking at the sisters from the door. 'The Carta tried to get into the mansion while you were away helping your elven friend.'

'What?' Hawke and Anders asked simultaneously.

'There is no need to worry,' the dwarf shrugged. 'My boy taught them a lesson. Orana helped too. She only looks helpless, that girl. She learned a lot from you and mistress Isabela.'

Hawke sighed. One more problem to be solved, and quickly.


	18. Chapter 18

'He'll be fine,' Bethany whispered, looking at the closed door of Hawke's bedroom.

'Do you think so?' Marian sighed.

'The wound is not that bad. And I'm pretty confident about my healing abilities.'

'That's not what I meant.'

'Ah. Right,' Bethany squeezed her sister's hand.

'He's never attacked me before. Not literally.'

'None of them would attack you,' Bethany smiled lightly. 'It was Corypheus's call.'

'The spirit has become intolerable lately,' Hawke hugged her sister. 'I'm afraid one day Anders won't be able to control him.'

'He'll be fine...'

They went downstairs. Marian loved to dream about their reunion, but the way it had happened in reality could only be described as a worst case scenario. Dragged into the Deep Roads, the place both women hated, constantly attacked by darkspawn and demons, confronted by Anders's worst incarnation, and, finally, opposed by a powerful creature that could easily be a Tevinter magister from the time of the First Violation, they had had very little time to talk about themselves. Even the part of their family history discovered during this misadventure seemed to be small and unimportant in comparison with their other finds.

'It's amazing how the past haunts us,' Bethany gently freed herself from Marian's arms. 'All this hardship because of what happened so many years ago.'

'We're both safe, at least for now. Everything else is not important.'

'I guess you're right. Tempting the Blight is apparently a theme for our family.'

'Among other themes. Just ask Uncle Gamlen.'

'That's true,' Bethany chuckled. 'I have to go. My unit should be close to Kirkwall by now.'

'Do you want me to go with you? Travelling alone is not a good idea.'

'Don't worry, I'll be alright. I'm a Grey Warden mage, who would dare to threaten me?'

'Write to me, will you?'

'Sure...'

Marian smiled, looking at her sister. She was not a child any more; she was a grown up woman, strong and beautiful. Their parents would be proud to see her now. Hawke definitely was proud.  


* * *

'They said someone was spying. So they decided to take a hostage,' Keran mumbled.

'A hostage?' Hawke almost yelled at the young man.

'Yes. If only I knew they were talking about you, I'd tell them there was no need to...'

'Who did they take?'

'I'm not sure... They mentioned Grey Wardens... Some girl...'

'Bastards!' Marian roared.

'Hawke, look! I found a sword!' Isabela shouted from the far corner, but Anders gestured to her to shut up.

'Where did they take her?' Hawke grabbed Keran's collar.

'We've got a base. On the Wounded Coast. Do you have a map? I could show you...' the templar tried not to look at her.

'Why would I carry a map of that blighted place?' she let him go and pressed her palms to her face. 'Just tell me, which part, and I'll search it myself.'

'The South part. You know, the one that goes far into the sea...'

'I know...'

'Anders! I found something you might like!' Merrill appeared on the upper level of the warehouse.

'Get down here!' Hawke shouted to her. 'Now! We're leaving!'

'What should _I_ do?' Keran asked.

'Get out,' Marian briefly waved her hand at him. 'Out of my sight. Out of this mess. Out of Kirkwall...'

'I will...' he nodded and ran away.

They travelled to the Wounded Coast mostly in silence, which was only interrupted by Hawke's occasional swearing. How royally stupid could someone be to think she wouldn't get involved in their affairs if they took the most precious person in her life as a hostage? Those familiar with her knew she would tear anyone who endangered Bethany into small pieces with her bare hands.

Templars and blood mages, working together! Hawke almost burst into laughter seeing ironclad men fighting alongside walking corpses. It was as surreal as their hope she wouldn't come to save her sister. Now they were going to learn hard way that messing with her was suicidal, as Varric would say.

Bethany was lying on the ground motionless. Thrask was saying something about Meredith, Grace was saying something about her revenge, but Hawke wasn't listening. All that mattered was removing those who were standing between her and her sister and making them pay for what they had done. They could use as much blood magic as they wanted, but when their heads were cut off by a sword, it wouldn't make any difference. The Starkhaven bitch died quickly, too quickly, Hawke thought. But seeing her headless body being set on fire by Anders's and Merrill's fireballs made Marian feel better.

'This,' she barked at a few mages who refused to participate in the fight, pointing at the pile of corpses. 'This is what happens to anyone who tries to harm those who are close to me. Now, free my sister while I'm still able to control myself.'

'Grace... She used blood magic to restrain her...' Alain mumbled. 'I need to...'

'Do whatever it takes, I don't care what it is,' Hawke dropped on her knees next to Bethany.

'You know, she...' the mage paused, cutting his wrist. 'She tried to kill you before.'

'Doesn't matter...'  


* * *

  
'So, Meredith was not involved with this?'

It was hard to say, looking at the First Enchanter, whether he was relieved or disappointed.

'No,' Hawke shook her head. 'A templar wanted to rebel against her, and a blood mage used him to get to me. Weird, I know...'

'I see...' Orsino scratched his chin. 'Traitors from both sides joined forces... It won't end well, mark my words...'

'I'm afraid you're right,' Marian sighed. 'Meredith won't let it go. If only it was possible to replace her somehow...'

'Speak quieter, friend. It's not something you should say aloud here, in the Gallows. But you're not the only one who thinks so.'

'Definitely not,' Anders added with a smile.

Leaving the First Enchanter's office, Marian thought about his words. It won't end well. The mages they met in the Gallows corridors looked frightened. Even the templars seemed to be disturbed. She saw Cullen in the courtyard, giving instructions to his subordinates.

'Knight-Captain! We need to talk!' Hawke waved to him.

'How can I help you, Champion?' he smiled, but it was clear he was exhausted.

'I think,' she glanced at Anders. 'I think the Grand Cleric is in danger. You need to search the Chantry and see if there is anything suspicious.'

'I don't even need to ask about the source of this information...' Cullen sighed. 'I'll see what I can do. Thank you, Champion.'

Hawke hoped Cullen would do a right thing. She hoped there was time for that.

'Why did you do that?' Anders whispered sharply as soon as they walked far enough from the Knight-Captain. 'Did you want him to arrest me?'

'All I want is to keep us safe,' she didn't look at him. 'And sometimes it means doing something you don't like.'

He didn't answer.


	19. Chapter 19

'Champion! Champion!'

Less than an hour had passed since Hawke's return from the Gallows, when someone banged on the front door. A moment later Bodahn let in a mage, panting and barely standing on his feet.

'Champion! We need your help!' the mage exhaled, seeing Hawke.

'What's happened?'

'The First Enchanter and Knight-Commander had another argument. Orsino decided to bring the Grand Cleric into the discussion. Meredith gave chase. She stopped him in Lowtown, and I ran right to you,' he dropped on a bench. 'Please... You're the only one they would listen to...'

'Why can't anybody in this city solve their problems without me?' Hawke asked, rolling her eyes, then turned to her servants. 'Orana, find Merrill and Isabela! Bodahn, bring Aveline and Sebastian here! Boy, go fetch the elf who always brings you ox bones and thinks I don't notice it! Sandal...'

'Enchantment!'

'Right... You stay here and protect the house. Just in case,' she grabbed Anders's arm. 'Help me put my armour on.'

'Sure,' he nodded.

Those two needed to be locked in a cell, Hawke thought. They would either kill each other, or resolve their tension in some other way. In any case, it would prevent them from tearing the city to shreds. Unfortunately, that would never happen. They'd rather perform in public, the more spectators, the better. She was tired of being constantly dragged into the middle of the mage-templar conflict. But it seemed nobody was interested in her opinion, only in her taking their side.

She watched Anders putting some extra potions into his bag, then weighing his staff in his hand. It seemed he didn't believe this situation could be resolved peacefully. Hawke sighed and took her best sword from the weapon stand.

'Let's go,' she murmured.

'Marian, I...' Anders caught her hand. 'I just wanted to say... I love you.'

'We're not going to die today,' she smiled.

'You never know that...' he muttered under his breath.  


* * *

Hawke looked at bright pinkish light shining over the place where the Chantry had been standing only a minute ago and couldn't believe her eyes. She turned to Anders slowly. He looked almost as shocked as everyone else. Sebastian started to chant a prayer for the deceased. And then Meredith began to talk.

'The Grand Cleric has been slain by magic. The Chantry destroyed. As Knight-Commander of Kirkwall I hereby invoke the Right of Annulment.'

'The Circle didn't even do this!' the First Enchanter protested, but the Knight-Commander didn't listen to him. It seemed she'd finally found a good excuse for doing what she thought was right, and she was going to use that chance.

'And I demand you stand with us,' Meredith turned to Hawke.

'No. I'm not killing innocents. Not even for what _you_ believe is right,' Marian said quietly, desperately trying not to snap.

'I hope you know what you're doing...' Fenris drew his sword and stood at Hawke's side.

'I bet she doesn't,' Aveline sighed and moved closer to Marian. The others did the same without saying a word.

'You are a fool, Hawke,' Meredith left, barking orders to her templars.

Orsino and his mages left right after her, trying to get to the Gallows first. Hawke looked at Anders. He was sitting on a wooden box and staring at his hands.

'Well?'

'There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself,' he said, not looking at her. 'I took a demon into my soul, and he did this. I thought I'd be able to control him. I was wrong.'

'Don't hide behind your demon!' Sebastian roared. 'You did it!'

'Stand back!' Hawke hissed at him, then turned back to Anders. 'I could have stopped you!'

'No, it was inevitable,' the mage sighed. 'You should kill me now. Maybe then Justice, not Vengeance, will return to the Fade.'

Marian turned to her friends. Fenris and Aveline nodded. Merrill started whispering something about second chances. Isabela and Varric refused to give any opinion.

'Go away!' Hawke whispered to Anders.

'You'd let me live?' he couldn't believe his ears.

'What?' Sebastian shouted. 'You can't let this monster live! If you won't kill him, I will!'

'Will you?' she drew her sword and looked into his eyes.

'I won't fight you now, Hawke,' he stepped back. 'But I'll return to Starkhaven. And I'll gather such an army...'

'What are you waiting for?' she almost laughed. 'Go!'

'I'll show your precious Anders what true justice is!' he muttered, walking away.

'And why are _you_ still here?' she turned to the mage. 'I told you to get out of my sight!'

'Thank you,' he nodded and ran towards the Gallows.

'If anyone else disagrees with any of my decisions, say it now!' Hawke pointed her sword at her companions.

'Calm down, Doll,' Varric raised his hands. 'We're all with you. No matter what.'

Hawke nodded and lowered the sword. She didn't want to lose any more people than she already had. What Vengeance had expected to achieve by destroying the Chantry was beyond her understanding. Now everyone would turn against the mages, even those who sympathised with them or were neutral would see only the horror. They wouldn't remember Anders the Healer who had saved hundreds of lives without asking anything in return, they would remember the abomination that blew up the Cathedral in the middle of Kirkwall Hightown. Now, with Anders gone, all she wanted was to hide in a dark corner and cry. She put away her sword and stomped toward the slums.

'Hawke!' Aveline called. 'Where are you going?'

'I'm going to check on my uncle,' Marian answered, not looking back. 'And then I'm going home, packing my bags and leaving this damned city!'

'You can't do that!' the Captain grabbed her arm and pulled her back. 'Kirkwall needs you!'

'Really?' Hawke barked at her. 'Nobody listens to what I say! I told Cullen to send templars to the Chantry!'

'And he did!'

Marian looked at her friend in disbelief.

'They thought someone was going to attack the Chantry, so they sent everyone away and barricaded themselves inside...'

'Does it mean...'

'Elthina was there, along with a dozen of templars. They thought it was the safest place to hide her...'

'But nobody else?'

'No. There must have been victims among those who were close to the building during the explosion though...'

'That's a relief...' Hawke muttered under her breath. 'I feared there were dozens of people there...'

'So?' Aveline looked at her.

'That doesn't change my decision.'

Hawke turned away and continued walking. It was their war, not hers, she kept telling to herself. If they wanted to fight, she wouldn't intervene. She was fed up with their hatred towards each other. She didn't even notice a shade attacking her from behind the corner. But a bright flash of magic ended the creature's existence.

'Sister!' Bethany put away her staff and ran towards Marian.

'Bethany! What are you doing here? I thought you'd left the city,' Hawke clutched her sister's hand.

'I was worried about you, so I decided to come back.'

'But what about your duties?'

'Darkspawn can wait a bit,' Bethany smiled, then looked at Hawke's companions. 'Where is Anders?'

'I don't know...' Marian looked away.

'You don't know. How...'

'He did...' Hawke waved her hand towards Hightown. 'He did that... Did you see the explosion?'

'I did...' Bethany nodded.

'It was him! Or that demon of his! I couldn't look him in the eye after that!'

'And...'

'I've sent him away...'

'You've sent him away,' Bethany shook her head. 'You've sent away a man who is possessed by an extremely dangerous demon and most definitely feeling guilty for what the demon has done. He'll run into the middle of the fight to be sure he'll die and take as many enemies with him as possible. And nobody knows what will happen to the demon after his death.'

'I didn't think about that...'

'Of course, you didn't!' Bethany put her hand on her sister's shoulder. 'You were always so impulsive!'

'But... That explosion...'

'You know it wasn't Anders. You can't blame _him_. But you can help him. You're the only one who can!'

Hawke sighed, then looked at her friends.

'It seems, we're going to the Gallows after all.'

'Thank you,' Merrill whispered, while the others nodded in silence.


	20. Chapter 20

  


There had been a time when she dreamt about a quiet life in a small seaside town where nobody knew about their family's little secret. She wanted to have a loving husband and pretty kids. She wanted to be a baker... She was twelve. And then Bethany started to show "signs". Mother was horrified, not because of the magic itself, but because she didn't want her little girl's gift to be discovered by templars. Father seemed to be very happy, even if a little worried. Carver was too young to fully understand the seriousness of the situation. And Marian had sworn to herself that she would do anything to protect her family, even if it would mean sacrificing her own dreams.

She tried different kinds of weapons, but nothing fitted her hands as well as a greatsword. Father was her first teacher, but soon her abilities had outstripped his, so she decided to look for outside help. She learned new moves and tricks from templars and travelling knights, not declining even the most questionable techniques. Some of these skills were kept in secret even from her family. At the age of eighteen Marian joined the army. Senior soldiers said she was extremely talented and could make a distinguished military career. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. Four years later, Father was killed by darkspawn. Marian had no idea how it had happened, but she knew that she had to return home immediately.

Three more years passed. She was working on the family farm, doing everything Father had done before. At first their neighbours refused to believe that a young woman can do a man's job, but she proved them wrong. She worked in the fields with the same eagerness she had learned how to fight.

And then the Blight started. Her hot-headed little brother decided to join the king's army, and she couldn't let him do that alone. They arrived to Ostagar two weeks prior to the battle. Carver, who had spent most of his life in Lothering, was overwhelmed by the keep's beauty and huge scale. Marian couldn't blame him for that. They spent evenings sitting away from the others, looking at the magnificent walls of Ostagar and talking. They'd never talked to each other so much before. Carver said he wanted to become a professional soldier. It made Marian smile. She knew he'd succeed.

And then they'd lost. The king was betrayed by his most trusted general, and the army was greatly outnumbered by the darkspawn horde. Realising that it was nearly over, Hawke dragged her brother out of the battle before it was too late. They ran away. That wasn't the bravest thing Marian did in her life, but she never regretted it. Their deaths wouldn't have changed anything.

But one can't run away from their fate. Carver was killed by an ogre right in front of Mother and Bethany while they were trying to escape from Lothering. Marian thought it had been the worst day in her life. She was wrong.

* * *

A small boat was taking them to the Gallows. Hawke glanced at her companions. Ironically, Fenris, who'd hated mages as long as he could remember, was now at her side, along with Bethany and Merrill. Friendship makes people do strange things, Marian thought. If there was a way she could repay him for his loyalty, she would do that. Noticing that she was looking at him, the elf nodded to her. She nodded back and turned away.

The Gallows courtyard never looked like a welcoming place. Now it had turned into a battlefield. Templars attacked, mages defended themselves, but it was clear that the real fight had yet to begin. Once again Marian tried to make Orsino and Meredith see reason, but they refused to listen to her. The Knight-Commander was waiting for the rest of the Order, which gave the mages time to prepare for the final battle.

It was decided that the strongest mages would remain at the gates while those who had no fighting experience gathered in the Gallows prison. Orsino, Marian and her friends were going to protect them. Anders was there as well, sitting on the floor and trying to fix his staff.

'You should talk to him,' Bethany whispered into Marian's ear.

Hawke nodded.

'You're here...' Anders muttered while she slid down the wall next to him.

'These are my sister's people,' she didn't look at him. 'And some of them are here because of me.'

'Would you allow me to fight alongside you?'

'I would,' she covered his hand with hers. 'If you promise that you'll always be honest with me.'

'I promise,' he pressed his temple to hers. 'I still can't believe you let me live.'

'Didn't you know I'm selfish?' she smiled with the corners of her lips. 'Losing you would mean losing myself, and I couldn't allow that.'

'Does it mean you forgive me?'

'I forgive you.'

'Even if I said that I'm going to keep fighting for mages' freedom?'

'My whole life has been a fight for mages' freedom. If it means I'd need to kill anyone who'd dare to touch you, so be it.'

'I wouldn't want you to risk so much for me... But I'd rather be on the run with you than safe with anyone else. I...'

'Enough words,' she squeezed his fingers. 'Prepare yourself for the battle.'

'May the Maker bring us victory,' he whispered and stood up.

Hawke looked around. The mages gathered in the prison were young, many didn't even have staves. It would have been stupid to hope they'd join the fight. Marian approached the First Enchanter.

'Where do you keep the phylacteries?' she asked.

'The phylacteries of the apprentices are stored in a sealed room in the basement,' Orsino replied.

'And those of the others are... were in the Chantry.'

'We should destroy those remaining here.'

'I can give you my key, but Meredith never parts with hers.'

'Then I should go there,' Isabela volunteered.

'I'll go with you,' Fenris suggested. 'To watch your back.'

'Good,' Marian smiled. 'Emile, you know the way, don't you? Could you lead them?'

The mage nodded with a light grin.

'Na via lerno victoria. 'Only the living know victory.' Fight well,' Fenris bowed to Hawke, then he, Isabela and Emile ran towards the exit.

'We need to take the children to safety,' Aveline said.

'There are tunnels underneath the Gallows,' Ella lifted her hand. 'Even if the templars know about them, it won't be their first priority.'

'Smart girl,' Varric smiled. 'Those confident in their abilities should stay here. We'll take the others to the tunnels.'

Hawke looked at those who remained at her side. Bethany, Anders and Merrill, so different in their views, were going to fight for the survival of people they barely knew. The gift of magic united them all. And she was going to lead them to their victory. She turned to Orsino. The First Enchanter gave his last advice to his mages. They listened to him in silence, knowing that they may not survive the attack. But there still was hope that the young ones would be able to escape.

And then it began. The first wave of templars was short. It looked like the mages in the courtyard were able to stop many. But the longer they fought, the more templars appeared at the prison entrance, which could only mean that more mages had fallen at the templars' swords. Orsino, Hawke and her companions were the only ones truly able to resist the knights' attacks. Trained to fight apostates, most of the templars had never seen a real battlemage or an angered Dalish Keeper, not to mention that Orsino was the strongest enchanter in the Circle. And none of them were a match for Hawke. But it was not enough. One by one, the mages fell, and with each fallen mage Orsino's attacks became weaker. In desperation, he drew a knife and brought it to his wrist.

'Meredith expects blood magic? Then I'll give it to her!'

'Bloody flames, Orsino!' Hawke yelled. 'She's not even here!'

But it was too late. Absorbing the dead bodies of his students, the First Enchanter turned into a monster. Killing him was inevitable. Somehow Hawke knew that was what he wanted. He didn't want revenge, all he wanted was to die there, next to those he'd failed to protect.

When the fight was over, Anders took Orsino's staff from a pile of flesh and bound it to his back.

'We can't leave it here,' he muttered. 'And I may need a replacement at any moment.'

Marian looked at Anders's "flashy" staff that was now covered in blood. There were several cracks on the crystal surface, and it wasn't shining any more, but it was clear the mage wasn't going to part with it even if it wasn't working properly.

'Sure,' she nodded. 'Let's go.'

* * *

'My own knight-captain falls prey to the influence of blood magic. You all have! You're all weak, allowing the mages to control your minds, to turn you against me! But I don't need any of you! I will protect this city myself!'

Hawke listened to the Knight-Commander and couldn't believe her ears. Many people said she'd gone mad, but the reality was far beyond that. For the last few years the city had been ruled by a person whose mind was corrupted and whose own fears were multiplied by the influence of an ancient artifact. The fact that it was the same idol Hawke and Varric had found in the Deep Roads made the situation even more surreal. However, what happened next made everyone gasp in shock. Unable to fight so many enemies at once, Meredith resorted to an unknown magical force and turned the courtyard statues into golems, summoning them to fight at her side. Those creatures didn't feel pain and never got tired, so the only way to stop them was their complete destruction, and that was utterly exhausting. At first Marian thought a barrier around the courtyard created by the force summoned by Meredith prevented the templars from interference, but when her friends appeared inside one by one, it became clear that they just didn't want to try. Help came when nobody expected it. When Hawke turned to her sister, she saw Bethany standing back to back with a black-haired archer in a Grey Warden uniform. The man used exploding arrows that worked as effectively as fireballs. Donnic fought alongside Aveline. And at one moment Marian could swear she saw Zevran, though that would be almost impossible.

The battle ended as suddenly as it started. Meredith absorbed more power from the artifact than she could control, and it burnt her from inside, turning her into an ugly lyrium statue.

'Champion!' Cullen called. 'The reinforcement will be here in two days. I take it, you're not going to surrender...'

'Thank you... Knight-Commander.'

Hawke and her companions left the Gallows without looking back.


	21. Chapter 21

The first thing Hawke saw approaching her mansion was Orana, standing on a box, her skirt torn on the right side for ease of movement, and holding two huge kitchen knives. Sandal was sitting next to her and playing with runes. Marian smiled, seeing both of them unharmed.

'We protected the house, as you asked, Mistress,' Orana said in her usual shy manner. 'There was the explosion…'

'Boom!' Sandal added, rising his hands.

'Then people were running and shouting,' the elf continued. 'And some were trying to use the panic to cover their crimes. Some tried to break into the mansion, but we stopped them.'

'You're very brave,' Hawke put her hand on the girl's shoulder. 'Now we should all get inside.'

Marian was followed by her friends, Donnic, and the black-haired Grey Warden who had joined them in the Gallows courtyard. Bethany introduced him as Nathaniel Howe, the leader of her unit and currently the Senior Warden of Amaranthine. He joined the Order at the same time as Anders and was one of its most devoted members ever since.

'So, what do we do now?' Aveline asked while everyone dropped to the floor in Hawke's study.

'We,' Marian glanced at Anders. 'We can't stay in Kirkwall. So I guess we're packing our bags and looking for a ship that would take us away from here.'

'You've just found it,' Isabela smirked. 'I can take you anywhere.'

'May I come with you?' Merrill asked. 'I have nowhere else to go…'

'Sure,' Hawke nodded and turned to Fenris. 'What about you?'

'I planned to join Isabela's crew even before it all started,' the elf shrugged. 'So I guess we'll stick together for some time.'

'We're staying here,' Aveline gave a short nod to her husband. 'Someone should restore the order.'

'I'm staying as well,' Varric said. 'I can't leave Bartrand alone. Plus someone should cover your backs, and who would do that better than I?'

'What should I do?' Orana asked.

'Come with us,' Isabela suggested. 'I could use a cook on my ship.'

'It's decided then,' Marian stood up. 'Let's meet at the docks at midnight.'

Despite being an owner of a huge mansion, Hawke didn't have many things to take with her. She put on her most comfortable armour, fixed her best sword on her back, dropped two purses of coins and a set of knives into her bag, and added some clothes. Anders's bag was full of potions and bandages, and he had two staves bound to his back. Bethany and Nathaniel were waiting in the study.

'Why are you in Kirkwall?' Anders asked, when he and Marian finished packing and went downstairs.

'Two reasons,' Nathaniel replied. 'One doesn't concern you anymore. Another… Do you know anything about the Commander's disappearance?'

'So, it's true,' the mage leaned against the desk. 'We've only heard rumours.'

'We suspect that someone is hunting down the Order's mages. Velanna was first. One day she left for Amaranthine and never returned. Then Cassandra left for Denerim, and nobody has seen her since.'

'She was with her right-hand man,' Bethany added. 'And he was spotted in this area not too long ago. We've been trying to find him.'

'We've met Zevran, if he's the one you're talking about,' Anders shrugged.

'When? Where?' Nathaniel grabbed the mage's shoulder.

'Few weeks ago at Sundermount,' Marian answered. 'He was alone.'

'Did he say anything about Cassandra?'

'No… He was occupied with his own problems.'

'We didn't know he was with her when she disappeared,' Anders added.

Nathaniel finally let him go.

'Nate, I want to ask you something,' Bethany said. 'Let me go with Marian. I'll return to Amaranthine as soon as I'm sure she's safe.'

'Sure,' the archer nodded.

'Just like that?' Hawke stared at him in disbelief.

'I have a sister and a nephew,' the man shrugged. 'If they were in danger, I'd also leave my duty to keep them safe.'

Bethany pressed her lips to Nathaniel's cheek instead of "thanks". On any other day Hawke would interrogate her sister to know everything about her relationship with the man, but now she was ready to follow Bethany's example.

'I need to go,' Nathaniel said, hugging Bethany. 'And I have to come up with a plausible explanation for your absence.'

He left few minutes later. Bethany turned to her sister.

'Do you have a plan?' she asked. 'You always have a plan.'

'Not this time,' Hawke sighed.

'We could go to Velanna,' Anders suggested.

'Weren't you listening?' Bethany shook her head. 'She disappeared more than a year ago.'

'She left the Keep, yes. But it doesn't mean she can't be found.'

'You knew she'd left? Do you know where she is?'

'Not exactly,' he looked away. 'I know where she was several weeks ago.'

'Why would she keep you informed about her movements?' Bethany dropped into a chair. 'She'd never spoken much about you.'

'She's not your cousin. She rarely speaks of anyone but her sister.'

'That's true…' the girl smiled.

'Who is Velanna and why should we look for her?' Marian intervened.

'She's a Dalish mage. Joined the Wardens at the same time as myself and Nathaniel,' Anders answered. 'She left the Order to continue the search for her sister taken by the darkspawn.'

'How do you know that?' Bethany asked.

'We've been exchanging letters since your transfer to Ferelden. She contacted me because she needed my advice, then we decided to keep in touch.'

'Where is she?' Marian asked.

'Dragonbone Wastes. She's got a lead concerning her sister and was going to check it.'

'Sounds like a nasty place,' Hawke sighed.

'It is a nasty place,' Anders replied. 'But right now she's the only person I know who can help us.'

Leaving home with one backpack and knowing she'd never see it again wasn't a new experience for Hawke, but she knew she'd miss the warm bed, the delicious food and the illusion of a peaceful existence. At the same time she was glad there was no need to pretend that everything was alright anymore when it clearly wasn't. She was her Mother's daughter, and Leandra left the comfort of her parents' home to follow the man she loved. The mage she loved. Marian had two mages she loved and wanted to protect no matter what.

'Messere,' Bodahn called when Hawke was ready to leave. 'There is one thing I have to give you. It's a package from the Circle. A messenger brought it in the morning, but then things got messy, and I almost forgot about it. My apology.'

'It's alright,' Marian took the package from the dwarf's hands and put it into her bag. 'Are you sure you want to stay here?'

'I am. Don't worry, Messere,' the dwarf smiled. 'We've got our plans, and we're going to execute them.'

'Good luck, Bodahn…'

'Good luck to you, too…'  


* * *

  
Standing on the deck of Isabela's ship, they looked at the silhouette of Kirkwall. Hightown was dark, only the Chantry site still gleaming with pinkish light. The docks and Lowtown were still burning, despite all the effort people were putting into extinguishing the fire. Only the Gallows looked normal, as if nothing had happened inside its walls. The templars were a very well organized group, especially when it came to securing their own lives.

Hawke glanced at her companions. Isabela and Fenris were busy setting the ship on her course, though Marian suspected the elf was just trying to stay as far away from Anders as possible. It seemed he hadn't made up his mind about the whole situation yet and kept quiet only for Hawke's sake. She couldn't blame him for that. Orana followed Isabela everywhere and tried to be useful. The three mages were standing together and discussing something in low voices. Then suddenly Bethany grabbed Anders's hand, plucked a ring from his finger and hurled it into the water, muttering something vigorously. He didn't complain. The ring disappeared with a short flash of a blue light.

'What's going on?' Hawke asked.

'Nothing,' her sister replied. 'Not anymore.'

'Not anymore,' Anders echoed.

Merrill shook her head.


	22. Chapter 22

'What a dreadful place,' Merrill whispered when they finally emerged to the surface after several days of walking through the underground tunnels and caves. 'It's so… dead.'

'They say old dragons came here to die.' Anders looked at the moonlit valley and shivered. 'Hundreds of them. Maybe even thousands.'

'Why would your friend even be here?' Hawke asked, instinctively drawing her sword.

'See those ruins?' Anders pointed at something that looked like a tower. 'The Tevinter magisters constructed those buildings. They used this cemetery as a source of dragon bone. And they did a lot of digging. Where there are tunnels, there are darkspawn.'

'After all these years, she still believes that her sister is alive? As far as I know, darkspawn don't take prisoners.'

'She's not a prisoner,' Bethany sighed. 'It's complicated.'  


* * *

  
It took only a week and a half to get from Kirkwall to Amaranthine. Isabela hadn't lied when she'd said that her new ship was the fastest they could find. It was late autumn, so nobody paid much attention to a group of four travelers in long capes with hoods hiding their faces. They stayed in the city for a couple of days to buy some food and equipment and to listen for rumours. Apparently, nobody had heard of what had happened in Kirkwall yet.

The journey to the Dragonbone Wastes was truly exhausting. At first Hawke planned to buy horses, but Anders talked her out of this idea, because half of the way went underground which was no place for riding. They went on foot, climbing small mountains and squeezing through tunnels, fighting wolves and giant spiders on the way. When they finally reached the destination, it was unclear where exactly to look for Velanna.  


* * *

  
'I suggest we camp here,' Bethany said, putting her bag on the ground.

'No,' Anders protested. 'We should find shelter first. Some old building, maybe.'

'Why are you so anxious?' Hawke asked.

'Last time I was here, we were attacked by a high dragon,' he shrugged. 'Aside from darkspawn.'

'But you're alive,' Merrill smiled. 'That means the dragons should be afraid of us, no?'

'Shhh…' Hawke raised her hand and nodded at her dog, Barky, who sniffed the air as if there was someone nearby.

There was movement in the shadows, and then they saw a mabari standing on a rock and watching them. The animal didn't show aggression, merely curiosity. After a few minutes of silence, the hound howled, low and loud, and Barky answered in the same manner, then both ran towards the darkness, leaving Hawke and her companions no choice but to follow them.

The dogs led them through a labyrinth of old dragon skeletons to a half-ruined tower. Someone was standing at the entrance, a huge cloaked figure. Hawke could swear it was a qunari, but that would almost be impossible.

'We're looking for a Dalish elf, Velanna,' Anders shouted. 'Do you know anything about her?'

The giant let his dog inside, and then disappeared behind the massive door without saying a word, leaving the travelers without the tiniest clue of what was going on. A few minutes later the door opened again, and a small elven woman appeared in front of them.

'Anders!' her voice was sharp as a knife. 'Bethany? And Merrill? Mythal, what have I done?'

'We're happy to see you, too,' Anders said with a weak smile.

'It's not a time for jokes,' Velanna sighed, then opened the door wider. 'Come in. Quickly.'

They entered a dark corridor lit only by a small ball of fire in Velanna's hand. She gestured them to keep quiet, then rushed forward, whispering curses under her breath. Finally they reached a small room. The elf shut the door behind them and looked at Anders.

'Well?' she asked impatiently.

'We need help,' he leaned against the wall.

'Couldn't you find help closer to your home?'

'We're truly sorry for this invasion,' Bethany intervened. 'If we had a choice, we'd never come here.'

'Do the Wardens know I'm here?' Velanna asked cautiously.

'No,' the girl replied. 'But you could at least tell me, or Sigrun… We'd keep your secret!'

'It's not my…'

She was interrupted by a loud sound of something falling followed by a stream of curses in every possible language. Velanna covered her face with her palms.

'Andraste's ass, who put these boxes right in the middle of the corridor?' an annoyed female voice asked.

'No idea,' a man replied. 'But I know who shouldn't pretend she can see in darkness.'

'Very funny. Tell Bones to take them away. Ouch!'

'Oh, no! Not that again! Velanna!'

The door opened, letting in a blond elf in a fancy Orlesian robe and a white-haired woman in plain leather armour. The woman was pressing her glowing hand to her chest and breathing heavily. She dropped into a chair, not looking at anyone. Without asking any questions, Anders pulled off his gloves and started to chant his strongest healing spell, filling the entire room with rejuvenating magic.

'Thank you, Tiger,' the woman whispered, then her eyes finally focused on Anders. 'Tiger? What in the… Bethany? And you are… don't say, I know who you are! Marian and Merrill, right?'

'Hello, cousin,' Hawke smiled.

Cassandra Amell was a miniature woman with a round face, bronze skin, and dark grey eyes. Anders was right when he said that both Marian and Bethany had many similarities with his former commander. She clearly looked like a member of their family.

'How did you find us?' Cassandra asked, curiously observing the newcomers.

'It's my fault,' Velanna sighed. 'I shouldn't have told Anders I was here. It was… unwise.'

'We thought Velanna was here alone,' Bethany added. 'We had no idea you were here as well.'

'Ah. I see,' the Commander nodded. 'I didn't want you to get involved. But since you're here, it's fine.'

'Involved with what?' Bethany asked. 'Cass, we were so worried about you two! You had to let us know you were alive!'

'No, that would be too risky,' Cassandra shook her head. 'But enough. You're tired, right? Of course, you are. We'll get you some food and find a place to sleep.'

'Wait, what's going on here?' Hawke asked.

'It's a long story,' the Commander sighed. 'I'll answer all your questions tomorrow.'

She left the room, muttering something under her breath, and the Orlesian elf followed her. She was very different from what Marian thought she would be, distant, even cold. But at least she didn't look angry. Velanna seemed to be more annoyed by their presence.  


* * *

  
Hawke woke up first. Anders, Bethany and Merrill slept on the mattresses next to her. Barky was nowhere to be seen. It was difficult to say what time it was since the room had no windows. Hawke took a small crystal, given to her by Velanna, and warmed it in her hands till it started to glow with dim yellow light. The crystal had a leather string attached to it, so Marian put it around her neck as an amulet and left the room. After some time of wandering around dark corridors, she saw light under one of the doors. She knocked, then peeked inside. It was a big room, full of bookshelves, lit by several magical lanterns. Cassandra was sitting at a desk and writing something. Noticing, that she wasn't alone, she gestured to Hawke to come in.

'Did you sleep well?' she asked with a faint smile. By the look of her face it was clear she hadn't slept at all.

'Yes, thank you,' Marian answered. 'Are you alright? I mean… Your chest. Are you injured?'

'Just an old wound…'

Cassandra unbuttoned her vest and opened it, showing a net of deep, ugly-looking scars.

'Normally it doesn't hurt much, but I should be careful not to stretch it,' she added. 'I had to give up using the staff because of it. But it doesn't matter.'

'Is it some sort of a darkspawn poison?' Marian asked. 'It doesn't look like an old wound.'

'Lyrium,' Cassandra ran her glowing fingers along the scars, then buttoned the vest. 'A friendly reminder from Ser Rylock of what I am.'

'A templar did that to you.'

'Yes. A templar officer who believed her authority superseded even the crown, let alone a pesky mage like me. But she forgot one important thing,' the woman's soft voice took on metal undertones. 'I wasn't just a mage. I was the Commander of the Grey and the Arl of Amaranthine. She was on my land, threatening me and my people. That couldn't be tolerated.'

'Did you kill her?'

'No, I didn't. I was barely alive because of this,' she pressed her palm to her chest. 'Anders and Velanna finished the bitch and her subordinates.'

'Weren't the others looking for them?'

'Of course they were. The first group came to me openly. I told them I had no idea where their comrades had gone. Then they tried to infiltrate our ranks, sending one of their knights as a potential recruit. He poisoned the minds of some other new Wardens with Chantry lies. I remember, Anders got furious when he'd heard them whispering behind our backs. Then something dreadful happened. I was in Denerim, fruitlessly trying to get the Grand Cleric's audience. When I got back, I was told about the bodies, a group of templars and several new Wardens, found in the forest close to the Keep. Anders was nowhere to be found. He left a note for me, saying that he was sorry and that he had left to keep me safe. I still don't know what really happened then. But the templars didn't dare to confront me openly after that. Only indirectly.'

'Indirectly?'

'You know, as a mage, I'm used to the fact the Chantry takes everything we cherish. It takes our families, our freedom, our health. We live in constant fear of being punished for what we are. I thought being the Hero would be enough to protect what little I had. I was wrong. Even the woman I loved turned out to be a Chantry spy. She left me as soon as her mission was finished.'

'When Anders told me about the life in the Circle, I was suspicious,' Hawke muttered. 'But the way you describe it makes me shiver.'

'Then I guess it will be easier for you to understand what we are doing here,' Cassandra smiled.

'And what is it?'

'There is no need to hurry. I'll explain everything to you and your companions after breakfast.'

Cassandra left her chair and walked towards the door.

'Wait,' Hawke called. 'While we're alone… I want to ask you something.'

'Sure.'

'Do you know anything about reverting a spirit possession?'

'Not much. Usually it requires a group of mages and a lot of lyrium,' Cassandra bit her lip. 'Is it about Anders?'

'Yes,' Marian sighed. 'Do you think it's possible to separate him and Justice? I mean… You, Velanna, Bethany, Merrill, that man who accompanied you yesterday…'

'His name is Alim…'

'You are a group of mages. We could find lyrium somehow. I even have a book that describes the ritual. It's in Old Tevinter though…'

'Don't worry, dear cousin,' Cassandra grinned, almost giggling. 'We'll discuss this later as well. Now, let's go. Food should be ready.'


	23. Chapter 23

 

  


 

Hawke soon realized why Cassandra found her attempt to count mages so amusing. They entered the dining hall, windowless and lit by lanterns like all the other rooms Hawke had seen already. There were several dozens of people there, sitting at long tables, eating and chatting. They were men and women, humans and elves, a dwarven girl and a qunari warrior, no doubt, the one Hawke had seen on the previous evening. But, despite the misleading lack of robes, only two men were wearing them, it was clear that most of these people were mages. They had that almost-visible, almost-audible vibrating aura of power Marian would recognize anywhere.

Her companions were already there. Bethany was helping with serving food. Merrill and Velanna were talking about something only the two of them could understand, using the Dalish language heavily. Anders was discussing something with a man in a green robe. She also noticed Zevran, shamelessly flirting with Alim. How he'd managed to get there so fast, she had no idea.

'Where is the First Enchanter?' Cassandra asked, getting herself a bowl of porridge.

'I wasn't surprised seeing half of the Circle here,' Anders said in amazement. 'But Irving…'

Everyone stopped talking.

'Irving's dead,' Cassandra said quietly. 'Wynne is the First Enchanter now.'

'Oh…'

'Natural cause. Or so they say.'

'I think it was his heart. I told him to be careful, but he was too stubborn to listen.'

A grey-haired woman entered the dining hall. She was old enough to be a grandmother of any person in the room, but somehow Hawke knew she was stronger than most of the youngsters. She kept her back straight and looked at everyone with a sense of superiority.

'Let's hope you're right, Wynne,' Cassandra bowed to her with a polite smile.

'Don't start this again, my dear,' Wynne sat on a bench next to her. 'By the way, who is responsible for that skeleton in the corridor? It's not something I like to see before breakfast.'

'If it's wearing a blue outfit, it's Bones,' Alim replied, freeing himself from Zevran's arms and moving to Hawke's table. 'I sent him to tidy up. Commander's order.'

'Are we talking about an animated skeleton?' Marian stared at him in disbelief.

'Yes,' the elf nodded, then added, noticing her face expression. 'No, it's not blood magic, it's the Spirit school. And no, they're not aggressive by default. They're just puppets controlled by a mage.'

'I didn't know that,' she admitted.

'Of course, you didn't. Not many people outside the Circle know the difference,' he sighed. 'Thanks to the Chantry, anything aside from common healing and rune crafting is branded dangerous and related to blood magic.'

'I've seen too many blood mages to ignore their existence,' Hawke muttered. 'And even without the power of blood, mages are capable of doing horrible things.'

'And yet, you're here, with us,' Cassandra smiled.

'I just want my sister and my partner to be safe,' Marian said, then glanced at Merrill. 'And my friend, as well.'

'This is not the safest place,' Wynne said, looking at Cassandra.

'Why  _are_  you here?' Hawke asked. 'I doubt all these mages have gathered here for something simple.'

'I think, it's time to tell you,' Cassandra said, leaving her seat. 'Velanna, Finn, Cyrus, please, come with us.'

Marian gestured to her companions to follow. Wynne, Zevran and Alim joined them without saying a word. Velanna went forward holding her glowing staff as a torch.

'It began years ago,' Cassandra said. 'When the Libertarians started their campaign for the separation from the Chantry. Back then everyone considered it a foolish move. While many agreed with their ideas, we all realized it wasn't going to happen, not in our lifetime. But they kept pressing. It was mostly peaceful here in Ferelden, but in Orlais and the Free Marches people resorted to violence.'

'Believe me, we noticed,' Hawke sighed.

'The Starkhaven Circle was burnt to ashes. Many people died in fire, including Lissa,' the man in a rich Nevarran garment whom Cassandra called Cyrus said.

'Lissa?' Marian asked.

'Our sister.'

Hawke looked at the man and suddenly realized  _who_  he was. He put his arm around Cassandra's shoulder and continued.

'Nobody knew who was responsible for it. Templars blamed mages as that Circle was famous for having a large number of Libertarians. Mages blamed templars for exactly the same reason. Nobody wanted to admit it could have been an accident and nothing more. The Resolutionists took it as a sign for action. For reasons yet unclear, they aimed at Kirkwall. We suspect they targeted either the Grand Cleric or that infamous Knight-Commander…'

'And now they are both dead,' Hawke said. 'Along with the First Enchanter and only the Maker knows how many other people…'

She turned back and looked at Anders. He was standing motionless and clutching his staff. Cassandra noticed it as well. She stretched her hand towards him.

'Give me Spellfury, please,' her voice was soft and calm.

'Yes,' he closed his eyes and shook his head.

'I take it, you were involved with beheading the city?' she asked, taking the staff from his hands.

‘You might say that’ Hawke said, still looking at Anders.

'Impressive…' Cassandra's fingers traced the runes on the staff's surface. 'I can't imagine a spell that would be able to do  _this_  to Spellfury! I thought it was unbreakable!'

'It's still  _working_ ,' Anders said with a sad smile.

'Glad to know that,' Cassandra turned on her heel and walked further. 'Anyway. Let me continue.'

'By all means,' Marian muttered.

Cyrus smiled at her apologetically, but didn't say anything.

'We,' Cassandra continued her explanation. 'And by that I mean mages who want to be left in peace, soon realized that we needed something to secure our future. We needed something big. Something that would make the others stop and think twice before trying to harm us.'

'Are you talking about a weapon?' Bethany asked.

'Not exactly…'

With these words Velanna opened a door and let everyone into a huge cavern. It was lit well by sunlight coming from holes in the ceiling, so the elf could finally lower her staff. The cavern's surreal environment reminded Hawke of the Primeval Thaig. Natural stalactites were mixed with man-made columns. Entire buildings were hanging from the ceiling. An underground lake filled most of the cavern's floor. And in the middle of it, on a small island, stood a strange structure.

'Is it…' Merrill gasped.

'The Eluvian,' Velanna said proudly.

'The real, whole, working one?' Merrill rushed towards the mirror, and everyone else followed her example.

'Yes,' Cassandra replied. 'There was another Eluvian in Brecilian Forest, but it was broken.'

'I know,' Merrill looked at the mirror in awe. 'My clan found it. But it was corrupted by the taint. One of our hunters had gone missing, and the other died several days later. She said they'd seen a city on the other side. And then the darkspawn appeared, and…'

'This one is clean,' Cassandra said. 'A friend of mine, Morrigan, went through it five years ago. No darkspawn have come out since then.'

'So, this is how it works?' Marian carefully touched the dark glass. 'It transports people between places?'

'So the old books say, and we have no reason not to trust them,' Finn said. 'I studied many manuscripts on this subject, including the book Morrigan used to activate it last time, and they all say the same. These mirrors were used by the ancient elves for long distance traveling.'

'Can a demon use it to get out of the Fade?' Hawke asked.

'Very unlikely,' Finn replied. 'These mirrors belong to our world. They may be hidden in places inaccessible otherwise, but not in the Fade.'

'Contacting demons is much easier than this,' Cassandra smiled. 'We're looking for something that doesn't require our souls as a payment.'

'And you're going to use it,' Hawke said, already knowing the answer.

'Yes,' Velanna nodded.

'You know it's insane, right?'

'Of course,' Cassandra ran her fingers along the mirror's frame. 'But we're ready to take this risk.'

'And end like the magisters who tried to conquer the Golden City?' Anders asked.

'We're not going to conquer anything,' Cyrus replied. 'We seek knowledge.'

'Right…' Hawke sighed.

'Listen,' Cassandra looked into her eyes. 'We know it's dangerous. We have no idea what's waiting for us on the other side. We know it's a gamble. But we're not going to stop now. The people you saw earlier are not just mages. They are the most talented enchanters from all over Thedas. While a small group will go through the Eluvian, the others will remain at the entrance, ready to deal with any danger that might come out of it.'

'And if there is… nothing?' Merrill asked.

'Then there is nothing to be afraid of,' Velanna put her hand on Merrill's shoulder. 'Don't you want to see it for yourself?'

'I do! If I'm allowed…'

'Sure. We can use another Keeper.' Cassandra turned to Hawke, Bethany and Anders. 'What about you?'

'I'm going,' Bethany said. 'There may be darkspawn there.'

'I'm going as well,' Anders nodded.

'You leave me no choice,' Marian sighed.

* * *

Three days later, everything was ready. They were standing in front of the Eluvian, surrounded by people with glowing staves, chanting spells. Hawke glanced at those staying behind. The qunari, Sten, gave her a short nod, holding the collars of both mabari. It seemed Barky and Rabbit, Cassandra's dog, didn't understand why they weren't going with their masters, but they obeyed orders. Dagna, the dwarven scholar, was running from one mage to another and giving them lyrium potions. Cyrus was leading the spell, practically floating over the ground. Finn didn't participate in chanting, supervising the process and giving recommendations. Marian noticed a book lying on one of the boxes the mages used to carry lyrium into the cavern. It was the last gift from Orsino, a manuscript about reversing spirit possession. Finn promised to translate it by the time they return.  _If they return…_

Finally the surface of the mirror began to glow and soon turned into a water-like substance. Nobody dared say a word, everyone was just looking at the Eluvian. Then, Wynne touched the surface, took a deep breath, and stepped inside. Cassandra followed her a moment later. Velanna and Merrill exchanged glances and entered the mirror almost simultaneously. Marian watched Alim, Zevran and several mages whose names she didn't remember disappearing inside the Eluvian. She moved closer to the mirror. Its surface was covered with ripples. Somehow she knew that they were almost out of time.

Hawke looked back for the last time, then grabbed Anders's and Bethany's hands and stepped forward into the mirror. Nobody knew what was waiting for them on the other side, but at least they were going to be there together.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank all my readers. You inspired me to write more and not to drop this fic half way. It was the longest story I've ever written. Now, when it's finished, I can finally move on.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Being Amell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/208491) by [LadyKleo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKleo/pseuds/LadyKleo)




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